Tragiclife

2011-02-21T08:55:00.000-08:00

I know you have been waiting for updates in my blog. And here I am updating my blog after I have said the last word thats on my mind to you.

No body reads my blog now, like seriously who care isnt it? I remove my tagboard because I dont want viruses spam on it. Random and out of topic.

So here I am into the topic. I guess thats the best way out for you, and me. I really love the way my life is now. No worries, no hurries, no tears, no pain..

No Love.

Is okay to do without love. So long you have friends who are always here for you till the last breathe. Work to take away your mind. Is not about falling in love as fast as lighting,

Is all about fall in love as long as my last breathe. Therefore I belive in taking my time, chance and fate to find the right one. Not the left one.

I am very okay alone, even if I may die single, no children, no lover. I am pretty strong I guess.

It has been 6 months long since I last shed a tear for someone or because of feeling sad. I am in fact very happy now. So would you think I will want to fall in love?

I remb for the past few rs I had, I fell out, and in again after the most 2 months. This time round, was a breakthrough for me. I am outta love for 6 months! And I am very happy about it! :)

Need no love, all I need is life.

With happiness,
Geok

2010-11-12T01:35:00.000-08:00

Maybe I shld not see friendship till so heavy.

Is never the same. You feel this way towards others, it might not be this case. Thing change alot.

Is time I learn to be on own, and not emo/ be affected by people.

Jiayou le!

2010-10-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me this..
If someone is willingly to wait for u, no matter how hard it is, they will just wait till you are available.

So that maybe I am just unlucky. Like what I mentioned, I am just a signage.

I just wanna be alone, and pls, anyone and everyone, dont suka suka come into my life and go out like tt. I had enough, I have made up my mind to ignore, and just appreciate everyone around me. Bye.

2010-10-20T23:18:00.000-07:00

And once again,. it happen again.

when I msg u last night, u din even bother to reply telling me if u wanna go out. Then in the morning u merely say u are tired.

fine.. then u asked if wanna go sing k. Fine. Understand too. Cos when u r tired u dowan move so much right. And now u are asking if wanna go town walk.

Pls lor, u are contractdicting urself. and if u think u are still right, sorry, u are totally wrong.

becos u din even bother to reply my msg at night, dont say u nv see. Impossible. IS ALWAYS LIKE TT. IF U LIKE IT DEN U RESPONSE IMMEDIATE. IF NOT U JUST DONT REPLY.

U R TOTALLY UNWORTH THE TITLE OF FRIEND. Cos, u dont know how to be a friend. Dont say u how come u friends now.. Just time, things will repeat again. When u are in bad mood, then anything can happen.

RAWR, scram off ~

2010-10-06T00:23:00.000-07:00

You know, little did I expect all these to come from you.

I dont know what to say, because I know I will say the wrong things again. Because I am still so emotionally affected. Yes, maybe you wun believe me.. But is the truth. When I am still affected, i cnt type as per normally, just so sensitive etc.

As much as we wants it back, we both know that is nv the same again. The challenges that we might faced, i dont know about you. Is tough for us. Becos u love ur family more than u love me. And I am happy about tt .. Afterall they are your everything, 24/7 ther. Ur family is wonderful..

Is not easy to get over someone who truly love you, treated you well.
But most of the time, a rs aint just abt love, is alot more than love. The acceptance of surrounding..

I totally understand that..

No worries, crying will cure everything. I dowan to talk about it to friends or anyone. I just wanna keep it in my heart, the last romance secret I can every keep to myself..

(:

2010-10-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

HEY I AM BACKKK!!

Did I mentioned I saw a very nice pair of hello kitty crocs!? I so want it ): ):

And.. I wanna get a Tennis racket too..

Stress over work now. Is hard to get volunteer. At times I really dont understand why they wanna set target for the staff to achieve. Making us so stress.. I think some times is depend on individual de ma. Arg! But I still love my job
(:

<3<3

2010-10-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

Just done up with my new blogskin, Think It looked so much better now! HAHAHAH.

I think blogging is out of the fashion already, not much friend blogging still, but I blog cos I wanna blog and not following the trend! :D

Has been trying to keep my life real busy nowasday. I am doing fine.. I think I need to space to say out my thots and emotions. It does not matter if anyone is reading out.. I just need a space on my own, afterall, not much people know about this blog of mine.. :D

Work has been okay.. Getting better and along more with my grassroots leader, colleagues were wonderful. I love them. Is a nice feeling working there. Hasnt been really busy nowasday, still have time for some time off. Do some stuffs for myself..

Friendship going on as pre normal.. Nth much to say about it, going on fine I think! :D

R/s not so soon. Not ready and dont feel like committing anymore. So sian of it le, I am just 2o. No hurries at all right! It doesnt matter if I get married or not too. I have no dreams like typical girls who wants to marry that perfect man. In my eyes, ther aint any more perfect/good man, only see which man can dong with the same girl for the longest time. People change, women change, men change. Nth is forever.!

Going for a soaking water session with fiona later on. I wanna meet the sun. Just let the sun wrap around me..

Byebye, I going to be charcoal girl niaosssazz! <3

2010-09-12T18:48:00.000-07:00

You care? No you dont. You love? Maybe that was long ago.

Affected? Dont tell me the shit.

An what now, i hate and love u. But I never ever wanna see you anymore. And never will I wanna contact you anymore. I want to get you out of my life.

Why am I such a failure? whenever a failure in rs, the other party tend to take it lightly and get over it so easily. Fuck man. GET LOST FRM MY LIFE. NBCB.

2010-08-20T15:33:00.000-07:00

You know, I ALWYS think I have been the world luckiest girl in the world when I found you.

And the best part was you belonging to me.

After the converstation last night, things change dramatically.

I have to be alone now. I dont know who to count to.

All while long you have been my strength of support. Thats how important you are to me.

You bought the silly smile to me when I was alone in the camp lying down on the bed.

I was counting down to the days I can come out so that I can spend time with you, be with you.

You are the pretty different from others I ever had, because none made me heel over in love with them before we got tgt but you did.

Thats why I treasure you more than anyone from the start. Because, you are my cup of tea.

I knew I am silly, posting all these to my blogs, thou I said, pls dont contact me.

I dont know how to face you. I need you, And I want you. But it will be a one sided thing from now on. I am still tearing at the time like this. I can no longer hold back my tear. It hurts. The feeling of slashing my heart again and again. Conversation we had last night keep playing, it seems like just yesterday, I saw and had that cute face all to me and now we are friends.

I will check my hp to see if I get your msgs.

I have changed my wall paper, everything. About us.

I have chose the rainbow which I see when sitting and your bike and you were bugging me to take a picture of that. I dont know if you remb that photo.

I would smile and tear at the same time looking at the photo. Because the memory was so beautiful, picture were so beautiful,

but people had change.

I wanna hide away from the world, in my own world. Becos I cnt get over the fact that..

Everything is over so fast,

and yet I love you more than yesterday as per usual.

2010-08-07T08:37:00.000-07:00

I wish to tell you more about whats happening around me.
People tend to like to listen to what they wish to hear.
I dont know, but maybe I have no one else anymore.
Is it wrong to have wish ?
I just wanna be like normal girl around.

2010-07-24T06:00:00.001-07:00

If you asked me, I will tell you I am indeed very sad.

Why do I have to work with people like them?

2010-06-29T05:34:00.001-07:00

Today marks the second day of my work. So many things I arent aware yet..
The funniest part was everyone is still guessing what what is my exact job scope. Becos even myself also dont know about it. LMao!

Have to Jia you le. i got a feeling this job is gonna be fun and great! beoc I wun be always staying in the office only, I will have to run around @ the same time too! :D

2010-06-10T21:03:00.001-07:00

Lost my voice once again. Lol!

Anyway, sibei into this little boy~~
WOooahhh Wooooah wooooah! :D

You know you love me
I know you care
Just shout whenever,
And I'll be there
You want my love
You want my heart
And we would never, ever, ever be apart

<3<3<3<3<3

i wanna buy all the weird clothes in the world!:D

2010-05-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

Home sweet home. I miss baby!
I miss my sisters also!
And I miss childhood friend. Felt so much urge to not to slp,
and spend the remaining times with all my friends.
Seriously I need more than 24 hours per day cos I wanna spend longer time with each and every of my friend!
Tml might be going off at 6. Going for good meal! WOOHOO! :D

I seriously need to do saving!

2010-04-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

How I wish I dont have to grow up,
How I wish I wasnt in the suitation I am in now.
I wish..

2010-04-10T21:23:00.001-07:00

Family is still the most important in my heart.
I love u papa, mama, kor kor and didi. (:

2010-04-10T11:14:00.000-07:00

Finally is here after the long awaited time.
I just wanna get ther this very moment (:
I am sure that will be plenty of fun after this trip.
Yes, and very true, a oversea trip can see the bonds and relationship among people.
nites world.

2010-03-25T18:55:00.000-07:00

When something change, it is hard for it to go back like before.
Because it has become a habit. And I will learn to take it easy.
Work has taken up alot of my time. Lets just see if a change of work, will everything change.
But I believe not, is already in the heart.

So.
Just see open.~

2010-03-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

Today blog post will be little different from before as I have not update for very long.
First thing first, just to share with my reader if there is anyone out there reading this blog post now..

Why do people show off?
From the outside showy people appear to be happy, possessing many things that others really want and sometimes superior, But what most people don’t know is that the inside is very much different.

If the man became unsure of the impression you formed of him he might then start to show off to improve that image if he cares about your opinion.

So this is why people show off:
The feel they aren’t noticed or recognized: Showy people believe that they didn’t get the attention they deserve and so they show off to send one clear message "I am here, please notice me". So actually a showy person is begging you to notice him while you might be begging him to accept you!! (so poor thing)

Just sharing cos I find it rather interesting and applicable to life, as certain part of our life, we will encounter some people who simply loves to show off like for goodness sake! LOL! they will just allow me to mock at them and see them differently, they are even worse off than people who has nth with them. o-m-f-g!

A little update on my taiwan trip progress ;D

I am been saving really hard. And with the saving, i think i will be able to save 2 thousand for the trip!
YAR-ness!
Baby will be forking out 5hundred additional out for me for cases of emergency. Like I seriously Want tt bag types of suitation. Double yarness!
The air tix has been booked like ages ago. And I will be flying in less than a mnth time with my sisters. Is a graduation and get tgt trip with them.
We have plenty of expereience consultant who are ther to help us. LOL! as this is a 15 days trip,we are basically exploring the whole taiwan, people around us are advising us where to visit what to do throughout the trip.
Be prepare for at least 1thousand fotos uploaded in fb. As we are all cam whore. teehee. 1 day1 hundred fotos with 2 digital camera (wens and sam) and maybe polarite camera. (we are getting one each in taiwan! Yipeeee-ness) How cooL!
Flying on 12th returning on 26th(:
Excitement, excited, exciteness LIKE TOTALLY!
Oh yea, and shopping spree, heaven for me. LIKE ME! Lol. Not gonna get too much of bags ther, as trip to thailand this july will certainly bring back more bags for me.HAHHAA (: I will be grabbing all the plus size clothes in taiwan. Will be visiting shops like Orange bear and ESA. YIPPE! Lower price, better view and no shipment here I come!
Not forgeting the wonderful food, night market(is a must visit) shoes from taiwan.

And I would like to say (WELCOME TO TAIWAN!) (:

after taiwan trip will be resting for 2 mnths like that and off to thailand. I wanna make sure I save enough money for each trip, like at least thousand so tt I will be able to shop till I drop! :D

End of the year, I so wanna go hong kong! :D hehehe.

Oversea shopping has always been heaven and heavy for me. I will not come home with less than50 items. The last thailand trip, I bought 20 tops, naraya bags like tons, bubble bag, PAIRS of flats, Accessories, keychain. WOOSH! I love shopping @ thailand. ANd the food is nice. Is even nicer when ther are experts who has been ther till they can close their eyes and walk around without getting lost there to guide u and what to do and whr to go. Woosh! :D

was catching up with duncan just now (; been so long since I last heard from her. Am so happy that she has blessfully found someone as her new target. Woosh. And that girl is toally cute-ness and Chio-ness. Whats ther to complain abt! Just go for it! Jiayou le ah!(: and she is going gaga over her in msn with me. hahaha! hao la, u must jiayou leh. (;

Free bring her out and we hang out tgt. (;

Is such a bless to have someone missing u, loving u and tc-ing of u. (;
I am glad I found my baby too. And we are sweetly 6 mnths plus and counting on. Love you baby! (;

2010-03-10T23:57:00.000-08:00

爱 is such an amazing thing..

I've been following jack neo news since the very first day it was broken out..
I have always admire him as I find that his production is always so real, so speaking of singapore life. And he always tries to bring in family values in his movie. I remb the movie last year love matters? Or the one with beckic mouse lai sa, how the popo gave up her life for his grandchildren. I cried terribly I guess.. The very first production I came in contact was money not enough, is about family values also. Back then I was only primary 2. Since then, I have always pester my mama to buy vcd(which was still selling like hotcakes back then) whenever there is a launch of his new movie.

Till I grew up, became a young adult, I am still catching his shows, movies, supporting his each year new year productions. I always tell my friend, is a must watch.

But this year,I have yet catch his new year movie, being human. Reason being of his explosure of affairs. I find it disgusting and a huge disappointment, how could he do this kinda thing when in his movie he is always educating people about the importance of family ties?

Is contradicting over wht he produce and wht he is as a person.

However, after series of reports about his other women, till today. The merely 5 min conference he held in the morning. I 've just watch it. Twice in fact. Most of the part were being divided into 2 part. First part being he apologise to the public as well as family. All was his fault. Next was his wife, speaking. saying she has forgiven him, because she love him, loves the family and marriage, begging the public to let go of him.

Suddenly the hatred, disgusting-ness towards jack neo went away..
If, the woman being affected the most can forgive him, why cnt me this little role, part of the public forego what he has done? Furthermore, his wife had clearly stated that she hopes the public could have give her blessing as she might have think that pulling thru with jackneo is still worth the effort. Family staying tgt is still the best of all. Rather than letting the family split. Newspaper article has been saying that his wife has been pressurise for this few days due to the article, why not just let her off, and forgive him..

This issue does not solely hit on jack neo, I believe it affects everyone around him. His wife especially, families and friends. If it is not gonna be over, more and more people will be affected. As well as those women who spill the beans, hello. u're getting the limelight, however, public are thinking that you are cheap at the same time.. How are u going to face the public, relatives? There are just so many people involved in this affairs.

I pity madm kng,but I support her stand. And give her my blessing. As for jack neo, hopefully he will turn over a new leaf, not for himself, not for his career, not for anything/anyone else, but for the family who had love him so much, been there for him through ups and down.

Jacks's productions are wonderful isnt it? We have all enjoyed it since young, since 10 years back. I have googled and found all his past productions. Till now I still can remb all the wonderful pcs of work he has. Why forget about his talent just becos of a mistakes he done? He's talented, and now he's remoseful and will change for better..

Neo family have my blessing. I wish you all recover from this incident soon, and stay happily as a family.. (:

2010-03-05T22:04:00.001-08:00

Some times life is all about how you see it yourself. At times I cnt help but seeing it badly where everyone around me is tell me everything is gonna be fine.

Reassurance, again and again. Somehow there has been changes to my life. Perhaps is just a feeling when growing up, when you know you cnt be there hanging anymore.

There has been so much changes in me since secondary school to poly till graduate. I need time to balance it all.

Happy birthday to myself..

2010-02-28T17:17:00.000-08:00

I've more things to worry about rather than just some other issues.
(:
And I am going off for a little shopping today. YES AH! :D
but at the same time I have to save for taiwan and my birthday celebrations.
5th march with sister sushi treats then Wiii enjoyment.
6th march with twinnie von and childhood friend BBQ.
7th march is the day to spend with baby, perhaps movie, slack, look at her, she look at me = love! :D
4th march maybe celebrating with keli they all. Haven set a date for company celebration.
And 3rd march is with push cart-er (; Yea yea.
And whers jolene and zes and Li wei ); I wanna hangout with them also ah!!!! argggg~

Anyway, off on monday, tuesday, friday, sat, and sunday.

How cool can it be?
Baby said my birthday is like a season. Is my birthday season. Hahaha.
And she got the wallet for me yesterday. As a good gf, I told her to leave the wallet till my birthday then pass to me, end up she told me I still have my polarid camera leh!
OMG!!.. I seriously hope the camera will arrive before my birthday tgt with the flim. Cos I am so gonna snap snap with all my friends! At least one each I guess! And a group foto.
120 pcs of flims should be more than enough? Nvm.. Not enough can always go taiwan and swipe th stocks again! YiPeee~ !~

Joan girl girl is gonna give my hair a new colour today, like late 1 pm. Omg! it has been so long since I last bright hair colour. hehee. (; And I miss her truck loads~! Lunch tgt @ 12pm later.

Hmmmm~ I am so busy busy like little bee! hehehe!

Joy to my birthday!~

Is a bless to know, you are remb and keep in mind by peoples, and not just one, but a group.
I love you all! :D <3<3<3

2010-02-24T10:07:00.000-08:00

I know you will not be reading my blog, but I would like to write it out here..
Friends thinks that you are biggest part of my life, and you think that friends are biggest part of my life.

Where one are given both parties who are so close to her to judge what went wrong, what can she choose? In this case, both party are equally important, that leaves only with facts that is the variable..

Friends who have been with me ups and downs. Childhood friend, sisters. I knew and I have never under estimate their importance in life. Thou I am not very expressive in friendship, but they are like my right and left hand. I cannot leave without either one of them.

She. Was the one that made me felt love. She treated me very well. She dote me, love me, keep me safe. We have dispute, we have misunderstanding, we have unhappiness, but she always tries to make my day after everything. She is always there for me too.

Both, I cnt do without either one. I hope that both side will be able to get tgt happily. I hope as they are my everything. I dont want to choose either one. Neither will I do so.

I admit, I have my wrong doing. Perhaps something I am overwhelmed and do things out of my sense.

But pls trust me, for the she and friends.

You are my everything.
The reason to my life,
the reason to my heartbeat.

Both, just as important.
Sometimes getting along is all about communications and compromising.. You all are the cleverest and best people I ever know.

2010-02-22T22:35:00.000-08:00

一个人的生命里，最重要的是亲情，友情和爱情。缺了哪个，生命便变得脆弱。

"A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more."
- Sent by Jasmine Fitzwilliam

(: Sunshine after the rain! Those tangles, those hard feelings, those assumptions. Is all gone. and it will nv come again. (:

It takes 2 hand to clap !

2010-02-11T15:53:00.000-08:00

Today marks the last day of school after this UT.
Having a mix feeling of leaving school. As it would spells adult working life for me. I am not sure if I am ready to face it. But well.. I have to somehow.

Not going to further my studies for the time being.. gonna work first and should the job require me to upgrade my studies then I will go ahead.

Chinese new year coming in 2 days time. Excited! And baby just got me an ACER laptop. Is like OMG! din expect her to buy. Thanks anyway. love it love it. And she is so funny la, she can just tell me is a random gift. Ya. 1000 dollar for random gift. Hehs. (;

Chinese new year first day gonna bai nian. Second day do nth. :D

2010-02-10T03:33:00.000-08:00

No more asking,
no more mentioning.
Am I thinking too much? Or are we drifting apart?
I dont know how to be with them anymore. Confused feeling. Felt so out, maybe I am just outside them now.
Anyone, god, fairy godmothers, aladin, all those that can make wishes comes true.
I just wish that I will be as close to them as ever.
But I guess I would just learn to accept the facts
When you have no time, you lost everything. At the end of the day, it leaves only money with you.
Useless pcs of paper.
I knew, the big event is coming.
But no one is going to accommodate to my time. So it will be like any other year.
No one will ever know how I feel.
I just wanna get out of this shit.

2010-01-24T11:09:00.000-08:00

Is this kind of long and alone night, Where feelings and thought strike.
Why must we grow up? And why must there be memories?
I think I just found out one of my used to be very good friend pass away last month. Somehow I guess. Was rather taken back by that. And I kinda -L-O-S-T-.
Wherever she may be, I hope she rest in peace. And you will always be part of my memory.

Feelings, love. Why must there be such a thing to begin with ?
I felt so much damaged. I think I need a good long rest, perhaps a good get away will do away everything. People change, I've change. Is gonna be a new phrase of life. I cnt undo the change nor stop the change, I will just adapt and change accordingly ? If only there isnt...

New years coming!
(:
all happy and ready to set for it!
Dresses, shoes, bags, skirts, tops, HERE I COME!~:D

2010-01-19T09:09:00.000-08:00

You are one in a million.
Someone that I will never ever want to let go.
I just wanna spend the rest of my life with you.
And this is how important you are to me.

No matter what happen,
I love you always. (;

2010-01-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

When was the last time you ever fall in love?
I stay awake the whole night just to miss you, hoping that I will see your msg in my phone. Every mins, every hour every night I waited..
Glances at my phone ample time, but to no valid.
Msges are just getting lesser and lesser. Either sleeping or working. It has been 4 mnth we have been together. Maybe you are really tired.

I decided to just let you take a rest. I am feeling terrible inside me. maybe I am too emotional, too sensitive. But the feeling is no longer the same. Maybe I have been to nice to say okay to everything. And I believe is now too late to say No to any other things. you might have just said I've changed. Into someone you dont know.

just where is my happiness?

I am just ugly,
just low esteem,
just bitchy,
just chor lor,
just unclean,
just lazy,
just useless that I cnt let a person love me even more as the day goes by,
or even to love me.
JUST WHAT THE FUCKING WRONG WITH ME?

When was ur las long msg,
when was ur last hug
when was ur last comfort,
when was ur last smile to me,
when was ur last kiss,
when was the last holding hand,
when was the last chilling session,
when was the last time you told me you love me?

When was the last time you auto msg me for no reason?
When was the last time you will report to me?

now everything happen for a reason.
you report to me cos i made a fuss out of it
I remind you when was the last time we ever hold hand
I was so wrong to post anything on your facebook wall about us.
No body should know about us
break up seems so easy task for u.
I am nth but trouble.
Just ranting.
Feeling rather sad..

nites world, I am all alone in this cold, long, lonely night.
I am guilty for loving you so much,
entrusting my happiness to you,
maybe I expect too much,
I just aint good enough.

2010-01-19T01:57:00.000-08:00

I wanna:
go under water world
go sentosa walk walk
go science centre
go zoo
go night safari
go bird park
go escape
go JB
go KL
go shopping
go eat eat eat!

and i need to shed off some weight. Cos new year is coming. @#%^&@#(*(*#@

2010-01-14T20:55:00.001-08:00

No matter what happen,

I knew.

I love you.
and I will miss you still...

2010-01-14T20:10:00.001-08:00

I din choose to feel this way.
But some times is your actions that made me felt this way.

Love is always sweet in the beginning.
In the mid, it starts to fade.
At last it became nth.

2010-01-14T08:34:00.003-08:00

The feeling of neglected,
the feeling of unwanted,
the feeling of unloved.

I dont understand my feelings, but it seems to me that things changed.

2010-01-08T01:56:00.001-08:00

First, let me tell you,
You as my dad, did not fufill abit as your responsibility as father.
You caused the result of the family now.

I hate myself for born in this family.

USELESS FUCK. let me tell u these, the 2 of u is the useless guy i have ever met in my life.

I WANT ALL OF U TO GET OUT OF MY LIFE.

2010-01-04T23:47:00.000-08:00

This is kinda the new me for year 2010. Actually decided to just cut short my fringe. And thinner it. In the end, baby said bang bang. And tadah. It still feel weirds. And I regret asking the person to thinner it. Should have just let the thickness be. hahaha. And my hair gets shorter a bit. Kinda trim it. Any way, my hair grows really slow. So, I dont know how long do I have to stick with my fringe. And samantha zhang, pls stop saying I am acting cute, as I am always cute. Thank you very muchy. hahaha. :D

2010-01-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

I might be a bit late to post up my 2010 new year resolution. But better than never post right! hahaha. So here it goes (:

2009 has been both a lost and gain year for me. Happy that I've found a wonderful person in that year. so now the time has pass, another new year have come, I'm sure there will be more challenges, surprises, happiness waiting for me in this brand new year. Goodbye to the past good year, and hello to my new excitement awaiting year!

Heres my 2010 new year resolution!

1) To have a saving of at least 2.5k. Just Plain saving. (:
2) Friends to stay together till the end.
3) Last with bao bao till the end.
4) Excel in work.
5) Slim down somehow~ hahaha. Every year resolution! ARGG!

I think I will be a happy girl with all these! :D

Proudly present to u! :D Lovely dovely~

2010-01-03T08:43:00.000-08:00

I decide to just put all the photos we took together in a post! :D and there are plenty more cos is all over my fb. These are those I had in my phone! :D

Oh?!
Smilesmile!
SHINGZ~
(:
Properly leh! ;p
AiyO!
Hmmmm, ronggg!
Uuuu snatch my camera?
She: Oh?! I nv ah!
Me: Lets see then...
I think I go forward better! :D
She: tired tired; (;
MUACCCCKSS! :D sweet hearT!s
And.... Polaroid developed from wens camera. And this pc of picture still with her. hahah! ;p She keep our picture with her for what lehhh! ;p

Is a nice year with you around! And.. ups and down in these months we been together, I learn to cherish you even more. You've become part of my life, now and forever ! (: Lets go through all these special days more more, till the end.! :D thanks for everything my dear. And I love you very much! May your new year resolution come true. And happily ever after ! :D

Looking forward to my bdae spent with you, Thailand trip for your bdae, and hongkong trip for our anni. As well as firework watching for next year new year! AINI AI NI OH! :D loads of hugs and kisses!

The long awaited get-2gether with childhood playmates!

2010-01-03T08:29:00.000-08:00

Long long awaited get together chalet with childhood playmates. And I would say we have an enjoyable time this 3 days! :D

28-30 chalet @ downtown east pasir ris.

people there : Reen, Bao ling, Wendy, Pei fen, Yvonne, Qian ling, Shi Bin, Dickson, Ivan, Dian, me, vivien and some dickson camp mates.

We've bond ever since :D

SEE SEE. me and qian ling (:

Some more!
Together-ness!
Von and me! Take the picture from here! I lazy tag in fb. hahas!
The 4 of us. Pei fen and wendy not here yet! :D I like my hair in this picture cos it look longg! hahaha/!
The bbq session was awesome! :D
Us with von mr bump. All the girls present at that moment of time were in the picture except for vivien who is taking picture for us !;D
Chicken wing is nice! Trust us! :D
S-H-I-T! We have grown up! Bao ling should seriously scan our little pictures into the com and tag us in fb for comparision. hahaha!
Me and wendy!
Me and bao ling!
Me and reen! with her naked face. hhaha

It was a very great get together. It has been really long since we last hang out together. Like maybe about 7 years? We have all been so busy with our secondary school stuffs since we get on to secondary. And this chalet was great because it bring all of us back. And now we are all different. We are who we are now. And each of us accept the differneces in us from young. Some people might have thot friends who din get together for plenty of years will be weird and strange. but it was so wrong, becos it just seems to us that we never had enough of time to catch up those years we wasnt meeting up. there was so much laughter, joy in the air. I miss u girls. and hope that we can catch up for a movie or dinner tgt. :D

i miss the badminton, cycling, chilling session we had when we were young. We were really havoc then ! :D

Xmas celebration with sisters and brothers! :D

2010-01-03T08:14:00.002-08:00

Christmas celebration with my brothers and sisters. Despite all these years, we are still going on together strong. Those who left, best of luck to u. Those we stay, you will see that we are always there, together as one. LOVE U GUYS! MUACKS!!

25th xmas celebration with sisters and brothers!

Time: 7pm till late midnight!

Venue: Wen's place for steamboat then to sam house for the king game :D

People attended: Kanghao, yen shyong, hong kuan, xavier, issac, catherine, wens, samantha, Kenny, me, vivien.

Pressie again (:

A very heart-warming card from xavier. he actually photoshop the pictures together and make it into a greeting card for us. Thanks for the thought and the wonderful greeting card. I will keep it well and memories of our friendship will be embrace in my heart forever till I grow old. Is always nice to know you have a bunch of friends who you are always rely on for whatever reasons. I love you guys (:

AND YES. I got this! wooh. WOoh WOOOH! Is a gucci lanyard. From samantha zhang! Thou she haven pass to me yet. But she already reveal to me what she has got for me. I am so touch. (; thanks girl. :DD
And so, we dont really use camera for this event, much more of Polaroid. And yar, I wanna get a polaroid camera also! Either this year going to taiwan i am so gonna get from there. And those films and snap till I siao. I song. :D
And we had game of potluck. Which means each of us will put in 2 dollar per round of game, and we will pick a card for each round. the smallest value person will get out of the game. And hong kuan is the ultimate winner and he walked away with near to 150$ worth of cashh! WOOSH! too bad to yenshyong who was the second runner up with no money! ;p It was a close fight.
And picture of us being yao gui in the steamboat! hahaha. Once the food is being cook. In minute time, the food will be clear. And issac and me keep asking for rice. hahaa. :D

POST POST POST Xmas celebration with pressie!

2010-01-03T07:48:00.001-08:00

Xmas celebration with no pictures as we are too lazy to take pictures together with calvin they all. Couldnt kop from samantha blog, so only got snap shots of my pressie from the work place. (:

24th xmas celebration!

Time: 1145 pm After closure of shop to 2am & baby vrrrooooms~ Us home sweet home! (:

Venue: The BBQ place beside top 1

People attended: Samantha, calvin(sponsor for the BBQ and steamboat session! WEEZ)!, keli, Boy2, Bobo, Sherman, Tiffany, Esther, Me, Vivien, catherine.

Pressie for ME ME ME!

Adidas flat which I AIM for decades. I nv anyhow buy shoe hor! Is on sale now. Anyway, is a xmas pressie from myself to myself. wahaha! :D

HELLO. is me acting shy with my stylo-maliooo watch ! :D Loves! Pressie from baby! LOVE IT LOVE IT! I can hear it ticking now! WOOSH! :D
Muacks muacks!
Zi-lian-ing with it! WOOOOSH!
NICE BA ~ :D
Next up, le pormeier shoe from baby again~ ~ ~ Ohohoh ~ :D and it cost $95.90 with no discount. ): they took away the 5% discount le. SO just fix price. anyway, is sibei chio larh~ (: I like, and thanks baby very the muchie! :D
Follow up next, Kitty pouch (sibei chio right) from baby! :D yea yea. I merely made a casual remark, and tadah! Is mine ;p Then gift voucher from carina. (; and bags of stuffs from yvonne twinnie. thank u very much! :D I always carry with me hor! :D
Dorathy perkin dress from esther (; thanks!
And very pretty dress from dorathy perkin from tiffany to me (; love uuuuuuU! :D
Cropped tee, tank top and majolica mascara from keli. (: Nicey nicey everything ! :D
Guess whats in the box.! !
TADAHH! A very nice kitty storage box! from boy boy! wooosh! though is bobo help him choose de. But I still like it very much. the thot of he is sick and yet he still think about my pressie. Aint he such a sweetie pie. (;
Inner view!
And TADAHHH! din i said I want a kitty cushion! OMG OMG! here it is! :D And is very nice and comfortable. Is from bobo. love her ! :D
Anddddd! kitty mug! oh - my - tiiiannn! is nice de lor. I also she bu de use. (; thanks sabbbb! :D

And plenty of wishes. Plenty of pressie I've got. Nth else more I could askkk for! WOOOSH! :D

2009-12-25T10:16:00.000-08:00

I am the luckiest girl ever on earth. (:
I've got everything in the world.
((:

what else more can I ask for?

Shall update about my christmas celebration soon. Like perhaps monday morning. Stay tune. :D

Everything happen for a reason

2009-12-23T17:29:00.000-08:00

It makes me sad to feel this way
I just dowan things to change.

2009-12-21T05:18:00.001-08:00

Whenever a girl cry, she just hope that the person who truly care and love her will give her a hug, to reassure that everything is gonna be okay.

I hope that I will be able to see this year xmas lightening in orchard with my bao bao this year. Little would I expect that the way of seeing the light tonight was alone in the cab with tear flowing down my eyes. My heart shattered, tears drop, mind lost. The light was beautiful this year, but it seems to spell lonely for me. I felt cold, and alone. All alone. I dont want any other one's love, other thann yours. You mean so much to me, how could you just throw away our love?

sensitive I maybe, but at the end of the day, I knew I love you more than anything else. I dont need any presents from you, all I want. Is to grow old with you. Crazy idea it might be, but the feelings has never be so strong before.

Maybe you will not be reading my blog, but I just wanna tell you, deep in my heart, it already has you in it..

I dont know what to do if i lost you.
I will be just as lost,
searching for you.

Batam!

2009-12-03T09:06:00.001-08:00

Times flies, and our love has grow 3 month old like soon! :D Still staying strong as ever, even stronger than before, thanks for loving me bao bao (; i love u too! :D

Shoe shoe for me ! :D

AND BATAM TRIP FOR ME! gosh, is seriously a surprise. Cos this morning randomly she went to book. We wasnt discussing about it all wht. And the main reason for her to book to go to batam. Rleaxing + A&W for me! omgomgomg. (: i cant wait. Is like TML! I dont even have to waut for long! muackks! thanks for the wonderful third month gift! (:

And some random pictures of me zi lian. Not bad shoot thou i think. ;p hahaha!

And my kinder surprise eggs she got for me when she was away in hong kong. Of cos she bought some more other things for me like kitty purse, kitty keycover, kitty capsule, kitty blanket, plenty of hairclips. Smalls and big one. I am surprise by her gifts. (; thanks baby!

Xmas is coming. Broke broke broke. And this question always pop out, what you want for christmas? hahaha

I want plenty of things leh. (:

Ask me and i will tell u more ah. hahaha. ;p

Nites world. and tml here i come! :D

TO MY BAO BAO.

2009-11-25T08:56:00.000-08:00

I love you more than words can say.

I am sorry for everything..

2009-11-17T18:21:00.000-08:00

Is a bad feeling.. I dont know why am I feeling this way..
How can I ever make this feeling go away?

Maybe is inferior, maybe is lack of confident.. Maybe i just need assurance, but u nv did that before.. maybe u just dowan to say wht u dont mean.. Maybe I am jus a toy to u.. maybe i am just one sided..

This is how I feel

2009-11-14T09:47:00.000-08:00

First night of not having her by my side. For the past 2 month, every night she will be around me. Like we will hang out till late at my hus area, stay over at her house, msn check till 2, 3 am. Especially for the past 1 week, we have been meeting almost every night ! and whenever i saw rain, I saw her. Cos she will be right here sitting down together with me. Plenty of happy ice cream, plenty of macdonald. thats what makes bao bao and bei bei.

I seriously miss her alot. Can someone just make time pass faster?
I have to cleam my wounds myself, for the very first time of injuring for the past 1 week i am cleaning the wound myself. Everynight she will help me clean,. Hais. i miss her

Is raining here, and it remains me and her. Like she dowan get caught in the rain, thus she will just stay for longer. those cuddles, those kisses. It seems like the feeling of missing her is so strong tonight, never had I felt this way before. I miss her. how i wish i an right by her side now. See her slp.. ~ ~

2 more days to go! JIAYOU! baby must enjoy urself and take good care of yourself! :D

2009-11-10T18:59:00.000-08:00

Here is a outdated post for my second monthsary with my bao bao ! :D let pictures do the talking ~ ~ ~

These are all our couple key chains. think we couldnt get enough of couple items. hahah ! :D cute ba, and the top box is a boy boy and girl girl ! :D anyway, i somehow lost the very first keychain we got the baby with milk bottle de. ); i dont know where it went to, it got lost tgt with my bunch of key. Like sian half.. but nvm, now we got so many same de, wun get lost anymore! :D

Some pictures we took at my hus de viod deck. Cos viod deck is a special place for us ! :D yea yea!

And see see! thats the candy floss that bao bao got for me ! :D she make herself de leh! and it taste especially sweet and nice oh! thats the biggest and best candy floss i ever had, love it ! Muacks! :D the above pictures were taken with my e63, the not so good camera. hahaha

Just yesterday

In the morning, was chatting with bao bao in the msn as usual. then suddenly she became like so busy, i thot she was busying with her work. then she told me she has good a surprise for me.. I was wondering, what can an online surprise be! In the end, she got be the phone above. lol. somemore order online only got black one, so we specailly went down to the shop to collect the red one that I wanted. i trade in my e63. So now I have got a new phone. omg. I dont know what to say. Was like so happy till i dont know how to express it liao. kekeke. anyway, is a very nice and good phone for me, good camera, able to support big memory, can go youtube, connected straight to fb, they have got a fb section in the msg part. like so cool! and can upload pictures form phones to fb! :D so i need not get a camera anymore, just this phone will do! :D still can watch movie, got wi-5. omg omg omg, i am going gaga over my new phone. thank you b! love it love it! and yar. she said this was a random surprise gift.! too expensive to be random gift le la! haiyo! I love u baby! and i love my phone too..

the sad thing is she is gonna be out of singapore over the weekend. For 3 days.. ): i will miss her like so much.. hais!

2009-11-06T07:26:00.000-08:00

maybe i wasnt even important to her.. I am just nth la.. Whats ther to cry about? Whats there to be silly about? Dont be silly ahhhhh!

Shoes are girls BFF forever!

2009-11-05T21:42:00.000-08:00

It has been long since i last update. Since I so feel like blogging now, I will do a short post!

Anyway, programms lining up got alot leh. I just realise. Like kenny and kanghao bdae. both the K bdae. maybe can include mine also la, cos i kimgeok leh! also got K. Anyway, their bdae will be spending a bomb again. ); broke la. Still need to go taiwan de leh. Can I wish for a hotel accomdation for my bdae next yr! ? Hahahs.

Anyway, my shopping kick came again, and hor, I buy things again this month. As the title suggested, Shoes are girls BFF leh. I truly agree lor. No matter how many pairs of shoes I have ah, there will still be some designs that I will like still. like the design always come out neew one ah? KEKEK! :D

So randomly I bought a new backpack. As my pervious one button come out. So ke lian. Anyway, I love my new backpack. And last night I attach a kimmidoll bag tag to it. NICEY. the bag tag will bring me wisdom. because this doll is wise doll! HOPEFULLY SO AS I NEED A LOT OF WISDOM SINCE I MISS MY HOSPITALITY AND TOURSIM MANAGEMENT UT THE DAY BEFORE! nabeiiiiisss. Which means I have 25% lesser wor. So I must score A for both the other UTS! JIAYOUS!

nice ba? I wearing this pair of shoe today! LOVING IT STILL! for is so cute, so comfy, so me! :D kekeke. I wanna get one more pair. they got new design. Anyway, I am a shoe lover la.

My 6th pair of papillo! BY BAO BAO! :D kekeke. thank yieeeww! NICE ALSO HOR. i like! :D Comfy comfy!

Then this pair of cute shoe. I cant help it but fall in love with in at first sight! SUPRE DUPER NICE MATERIAL AND COLOUR! WOOOSH! and I replace the shoe lace with outstanding green! NICEY! :D I am thinking of how to wear it out. as erm, the colour a bit understanding ah! HAHAHA. :D

Boy boy and girl girl. Our keychain leh! :D and i lost the baby one, ): so i got the marriage one to replace the new one. ): but wells. The couple evolve to marriage already la~ dont care ah. One for bei bei one for bao bao! YEAYEA :D

Anyway, I am in school now. Today complete my ppt very early. And I am waiting for presentation then for retail UT. kinda have confident in it la. Think can do well. hopefully it moderate also? :D and hor, i chtting with bao bao also. Hao miss her ah! :DD muacks! I will be able to see her in another 8 more hours! So long yet so not long. Dont know what I am typing. ANYWAY I MISS HER JIU DUI LE LA!!!!

xmas celebration

- With childhood friend, downtown east costa sand. 28th-30th.

- With work peoples, steamboat on 24th? hmmm.

- With zesy and friends, pubbing on 25th? Hmmmm.

- with sisters, no plans yet? ); hotel stay ? kekeke. i dont knoe.. but when u all wanttt!

- And I want one day with bao bao also )): just me + her. hmmmm?!!?! 24th ? 25th? bao bao which day u want ! I chop for u...! =p

I just wanna have more days la! :p

I want my wishlist to be fulfill on xmassss! kekeke. ;p

2009-10-15T19:31:00.001-07:00

You know your girlfriend is a keeper when she:
1. Parks her car closer to her side so you can get out easily.
2. Kisses you good morning and good night.
3. Always offers to help you carry anything heavy.
4. Doesn't mind that you are getting fat.
5. Hand washes your underwear.
6. Keeps every promise she makes.
7. Completes your sentence.
8. Rubs your tummy when you are having cramps.
9. Always volunteers to wash the dishes.
10. Clears half of her wardrobe for you without asking.
11. Makes sure you drink enough water.
12. Takes the time to console you.
13. Offers to burst your pimple.
14. Doesn't mind hugging you when you are sweaty.
15. Your friends rave about her.
16. Takes great care of her family.
17. Always ask you whether you are hungry.
18. Loves holding your hand.
19. Always holds the door for you.
20. Feels good when you are feeling good.
You know your girlfriend is a loser when she:
1. Insists that you wash your own dishes all the time.
2. Clears out a tiny space in her wardrobe for you even after asking.
3. Minds if you are fat, not because of your health but because of her image.
4. Calculates give and take like a emotional miser.
5. Breaks every promise she makes.
6. Can't seem to put herself in your shoes.
7. Interrupts your sentences.
8. Feels good if you are doing something for her.
9. Tells you she is broke but plans a vacation for herself.
10. Ask you to clean up her place.
11. Your friends wonder why you are with her.
12. Takes the time to do things for herself and not you.
13. Doesn't bother to keep the water heater switch on for you.
14. Minds when you are sweaty.
15. Have negative opinions of everyone.
16. Doesn't care about her family.
17. Doesn't wonder whether you are hungry.
18. Expects grace but doesn't deliver it.
19. Always walks in front of you.
20. Still bitter about her ex.

so you aRE?

2009-10-07T12:58:00.000-07:00

If you cant keep what you say.. It will be disappointing and =(
If you dont say and do something.. It will be surprise and <3
If you said you will tried, and you failed.. It will be like, okay then. nvm, try harder next time round..
If you said you tried and succeed, I will be very happy for you..

2009-10-02T11:18:00.000-07:00

She just sent me home not long ago, and she is on her way back now.. (;
Missing her terribly and here I am blogging, waiting for her to reach her house..

We have been tgt going to 1 mnth like really soon. (: really happy about it, and she has been fetching me off from work. thats very nice and sweet of her..

I am always not tired when she is around, she is my energy bar, my everything.

I am very contented and happy with what I have now, and i ask for nth else more.

I hope we will last long tgt, hope that nth will ever break us apart.

I will love u forever. (; Muacks!

Tml is zhong qiu jie. She promise me my lantern and candles. I am looking forward to it. Hugs. Wo ai ni. Alot alot. (;

2009-09-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

Actually I think I still dont really know who are u.
So are u true? I dont know.
There are still so many I dont knows.

So that leaves me to one last question,

Why?

Song to my only and only

2009-09-16T11:57:00.001-07:00

Lyrics | K-C & Jojo - All My Life lyrics

2009-09-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

Tired of work, tired of life.

And I just realise something today.. (: which is good la, maybe I will not feel so not so good. lol.
我不会在你生命留下任何痕迹

Half day at home

2009-09-13T00:22:00.001-07:00

Today, i woke up at 1 plus gg to 2. Is a very nan de thing. Thou in between got woke up a few times, but got back to slp again. =)

Anyway, it has been long since I last spent so many hours at home :D Thou doing nothing much, but felt relaxxxx la. Haha. no need work, poor samantha have to go to work piang! hehe.

Nth much to do at home also, so try to find things do. Maybe movie later ba!

Tata! :D

2009-09-12T07:48:00.000-07:00

Hasnt really been updating for the past period of time.. And shall do a little update nowwww =)

Yesterday have been spending times with percious. Yes indeed she is my percious. (: Kinda being stood up in the morning, but wells, everything was cleared and smile once again..(: She got me a helmet for my big head. (: muacks! thanks! she accompany me thru work till evening then she went home for her dinner.

After that recieved some pretty sad news, and I told her about it.. Then she say she will come down find me.. Hugs. was really happy thou I din expect her to do that.

Then went over to fen side, and we cht, had our meal then was midnight. I suggested her to stay over my house because she look so tired, but she din want., and she asked me go over her house. And I went home da bao and off we go again. (:

Rch her place, bath, hug and slp. (; But now then I know, how tiring it was to ride home from my place to her place. Thanks hun, am really happy u din compaint about it at all.. Now I know how strong was the feeling of wanting to see me! AHAH! and I miss u too! :D like now, this very moment. Thou we just part for 2 hours. ):

Then decided not to go for work, slack in her place. She is really cute! REALLY REALLY CUTE! OMG! :D hahha, den we went to have tian ji porriage. And then she send me home again. I kinda burnt my leg when riding her bike. Congrats me ah! Hahhaa. =) Den she went to get some burning med for me. SWEET HOR! ;D

True or false? I dont know. But I am happy now, I hope things stay this way forever, no changing of heart, no faking. I just want a simple and happy rs. thats all.
Memories are scary, memories are haunting, I just hope move on and done with it. So that give chance to the one you are holding to now, to participate in your present and future.
I might have miss ur past, but i will participate in ur future and now. (;

No matter what happen, I will always be there.. Loves!

Even if i am not important,
even if you are not serious,
even if you dont love me,
even if you are just passing your time with me,
I will still be there with you, cos i really love you a lot.

nites world! (:

Everlasting sistership?

2009-09-09T11:18:00.000-07:00

Once we started off with 8 sisters, den it gets lesser and lesser as the years goes up. People change, And u will be amazed by how much people change.

The ones we thot will be most tiong sim to sisters grp de, left us for her boyfriend, then sisters who self claim that they are un wanted in the group thus leaving us. Etc ect. I have enough of all this shit.

And listen up girl, i dont care what on earth did u tell catherine that she will not even want to show me her messages. I dont care how much u said, what u said to make stories for ur deaprture of sister group. I dont care who are u unhappy about, and who u think we are afraid of thats why acting this way.

Since all of you grow up and wants to have a say in things we do, just fucking go ahead. Yea. Fucking go ahead, becos u will nv ever find friend as true as us. Go ahead and be like those bitches outside who are stabbing u from the back, just go get fuck with all the guys. Whatever shit la hor. Knn. PUIIII!.

From this moment onwards, whoever who dowan to cherish me as a friend, who took me for granted, who wants to leave me, just go ahead. Is ur loss, i merely lost a friend who dont deserve my truthful friendship but u who choose to leave lost a true friend like me.

I dont give a fuck care anymore.

2009-08-18T00:58:00.000-07:00

Here i am post a post after a few hours of studyingg.

First thing first.. =) people who bless me, i love them, people who dont bless me. I understand. not angry or disappointing or anything.. I just hope we can remain as friend still.. this is to jolyn. (= cheers. we are still good friends like before..

Then next to whoever who might be reading my blog.. I am contented with my life now. I knew great caring people. I felt blessed to have these people around me.. We will be friends till the end alright..

UPZ here i come. =) Hehehe.

2009-08-09T18:28:00.000-07:00

I cried when I read samantha blog post abt ruyi. And I am still crying now..
I know is silly, I know things cant be change, but there is the feeling that reamins the same in me. That is I do miss you..

Pls do take care.. Shld there be a day when you need us, we are just a call away..

Memories, are something precious that significant its existence once before. Photo are evidence of memories. But people changed.. Thats the saddest part of memories.

I miss you girl..

2009-08-08T12:11:00.000-07:00

Got some nice wonderful memories from sam blog. Finally figure out how to copy the picture. Lets see how well i can recall. hahas

Our flour fight at samantha hus football court. And I think we were a bit loud that people complain and police came. I think it was ruyi's birthday that year. 18th one? Then thats how we celebrate. We got water bomb like a lot of packet, and flour like dont know how many KG. gosh. And what we did, just take the bomb and throw whoeve we want. But of cos mostly is aim the birthday girl larrrh. hahaha. Then flour came into place, was disgusting thou. We were sweating, flour-ing and watery. Yucks. spend a lot of time on washing up. -.- Luckily when the police arrive we already end the game liao. ahhas. so we bo daiji. (: miss the fun!

Okay, see my pink colour melody pyjamas cute like dont know what right? Mind you, we are at jurong east kbox when we took this picture. And yupps. Not we go there den change de k. We wore the pyjamas from our hus, we took cab down and we dash into the kbox. pretty lame right. Alright, we are fun people. And of cos, whatever we do confirm is got many people see de leh. All the girls in like really pyjamas style. wahahha. So CRAZYYYYY. but yet FUNNN lurhs. (: Shall do it again like soon! On bo? haha
Our qian shou guan yin at JP there. After our dinner. I think tt time all 8 of us were present. Very nan de de wor. Cos normally got 1 or 2 person missing de. So i thot of this position. And we just go ahead doing it. FUN! (: And like many people were looking at us as usual. Anway, a couple of pictures were took tt night other than this one. But i think this is the funniest one lurh... (;
I am the ugliest birthday girl in the whole world. -.- My 18th bday at aloha chalet? I think or costa sand. Forgot liaos. but just look at the chocolate on my face. nabei. I had a really hard time washing myself tt night can. -.- Face was just the starting part, soon the chocolate spread to my body, hair, and my top. SHIT! i oni like wore once for the top. den no more liao. i remb the smashing starts from SAMATHA ZHANG. U this bitch! hahaha. Den ruyi join in and the action become more hiong. Till...

SEE! the thrid of us. We were so dirty that we need pails of water to be splash on us. You know seriously I pity places we been too. Becos it always end up so untidy and dirty after us playing there. hahaha. The smell of chocolate. Oily and smelly. Stayed for 1-2 day. Ohmytian. 2kg of cake tio smash finish. Er xin. And is to the extend you run run a few step will step on a pool of cake on the floor. Becos the 3 of us were like throwing cakes at each other. But I end up hiong a bit, squash the cake on my hand, den spread on ruyi hair. Hahaha. I remb we got a few picture both of us look like we are having cat fight, kekes.

Our trademark for chalet. Tau pok is a must! hahaha. Any idea how heavy we all are? And to imagine we all took turn to be at the most bottom one. hahaha. Is a nice game. we shld try it again. hahaha. (; but pls control a bit our weight. ERHEM.
GUESS WHO IS THE POOR GIRL TIO SPLASH LIKE TT! KAOS. and i realised is me. Lol. And hello sandy! what are u doing with such a big bottle of water! hahaha. Thats our water fighting in chervon chalet during sandy 17th birthday. . hahaha. The one in purple is samantha zhang. We started splashing each otherwith cup and 500ml bottle of water oni. Then realise is too slow, and we took out the big pail and just scope water from the swimming pool and splash outside at each other since the guard kinda guai lan with us, dont allow us to enter the pool at night. the pool is oni like till ankle height lorh.! The night before the other guard allow samantha they all to just sit in there and chit cht. But dont know why tt know the other guard dont allow. So I just tell my sister they all, since we are not allow into the pool right, we just scope water from the pool and splash outside. hahaha. And we confirm bitchy enough, 8 of us beginning busying scope water and splashing outside the pool. The guard also lanlan cannot do anything about it. hahas. And we began t smash each other till dont know who realise cup splashing is too slow, and got the big pail out to pour water on each other. CRAZYYYY!. We were running everywher and water fight. hahaa.

Anyway, after water fighting, there are my brothers in the chalet, and they were very dry, all the 8 of us like siao charbor. Lol. Begin to chase after those guys and wanna hug them to make them wet too. ;p but nv la. Cos they run too fast le. hahahs. -.- So we wash up then I think they played card game thru the night tt night. (:

These, i guess is just some of our crazy moments these few yrs. So fast.. And we been tgt for 7 yrs le. (:

2009-08-08T11:56:00.000-07:00

You know.. Is late at night.. Thot will be seeing my sister online, but none of them are. Wanna ask some stupid photo from samantha zhang becos I cant seems to copy the picture from her blog. ANyway, some picture are indeed candid. Like.. My 18th bday cake smash.. Our guan ni ma. Anyway, I miss the time we girls used to spend together. And I love you too sisters. ! Thou we are busy with our own stuffs now, but u girls are always on my mind, in my heart. Looking forward to seeing you all worrrrs!

From liotering around in sch areas, finding trouble, hang ard in Jp, Mahjong, Pooling, kbox-ing session (especially the pyjamas one) Look at how much courage we had.. The craziest thing we ever did. Crazy, fun, laughters are always around when I am with them.. Indeed they are dearie and close to my heart. And not to forget when we have the legal age, clubbing etc...

I hope this sister-ship stays forever thou some had left, some had move on. Like what sam said, for those who are no longer with us, wish you all the best. And pls, do take care.. Should there be one time, u really need us back.. Pls tell us. Cos we are hoping for your return somehow too. Well. maybe not all are hoping, but deep down I am still hoping. I think tt person who I am referring to, you know who u are right? (:

Not much of updates, busying with school works, working blah blah blah.

I dont care what they say, I'm in love with you.
They tried to pull me away, but they din know the truth..
Cos i want it all, or nothing at all..
If loving you is a crime, then I am gulity.. (:

Looking forward to monday, is already sunday now. Just 24 more hrs to go.. (: loves!

2009-08-05T12:25:00.000-07:00

And I cnt get to slp again. Oh great! -.-

Work has been usual. Maybe just tt sales has been declining. But well. None of my biz lurhhh. Coughing has been on going. This is so irritating that i felt so much like digging my throat out. Oh well, whatever shit lurhhh. Z.zZ.Z.Z

Heard from cat that the tix to genting has been booked and confirmed. Hmmm. Okay lor. But should anyone feels like taking over my place pls let me know! wahahaha. If not one is taking over then I am away from 2nd sept till 4th sept.. Oh great, $ gone again. =X Theme park? I am so gonna miss my singapore life. Erm.. well. alright is only 2 days lurhh. =X

Andddddddd. FYP presentation is coming up. Next wed. Dressing code is formal wear. Which means heels and make up is a must. Shit. WHy am I a business student. Emo....!

I just want time to stop. and am serious. LIke stop. cos I really wanna enjoy my life.

Finger nails gone. Now so short. Type also feel strange. hahaha! (;

And I saw jolyn today. HELLO. (: tok cock with michelle and lynn. Saw husband. lol. Conntented and am happy enough. hahhas.

Being random when I couldnt get to slp. Wellllllllsssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

STop the way of thinking. hahaha. wakeywakeyyyyyy! (;

People in my life is being loved and appreciated! :D Huggs!

2009-07-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

I went to see doc again. Like again. Wtf. And This time round is at polyclinic.. But anyway.. I am feeling so much better after polyclinic. I think my body needs med from there to curse. And while waiting, my brother very nice de pei we took this mask-ed pic. lol He looks kinda cute actually. lol. Maybe photo only. hahhaa.

But okay la, he quit nice except he is somehow cb, knn, kns. but he still do care and love me thou everything I scold him. but hey! I love u too okays (:

He've got a reatrded face here. hahaha. :D

And babi came to visit me in the afternoon. she is smart, she knows her to find her way to my hus with my address. (: And look at the amount o strepsils she got for me. When I oepn the subway bad up, i thot to myself, eh how come got guardian things inside.? I thot she put inside forget take out, den I realise is she put in for me de, Oh ya, she got me 3 cookie for subway. thanks yar. thats the very first time i ate so many cookie at one shot. to imagine is consume when I am so sick like tt. apprantly she is trying to end my life earlier for me. thks eh! but still i finish all.. hahhaa. but is cute la.. the strpsils 4 different colour. hahaha (; thanks husband! (:

ALright, I am in a not tired yet dont know wht to do state! Arg. is bored to be at home. thurs i am breaking free! (:

2009-07-27T03:25:00.000-07:00

It has been long since I ever post something like that. But I need to get this off my chest, for I am suffocating with my emotions inside. For I need to talk to someone. For I need some people to know how I am feeling. For, I just wanna rant everything out.

Is here to stay again. Those feelings. And Now I understand why do people cut to ease. Just cut for all I want, I will feel better.

No ones cares, becos everyone just bother about themself. I just wanna tell my mum, mum, I really mean it when I am crying just now. I am just a girl. A simple normal girl who you cnt expect that I will be the best daughter, the strongest daughter. I need the love to be showed, to be seen, to be felt? Nth, everything went to empty space.

And I am feeling lousy inside, I dowan to face to world, I just wanna stay away from everyone and anyone. Maybe they will not even notice my absence in their life, for I am just someon so typical. For I am just me, nth else more.

Plenty of negative ions in my mind, self-abuse- self-torture, mentally disorder. I cnt explain the emotions I am feeling deep in. Tears has been dropping ever since.

I pretend to be strong, all these years I pretend to be strong. People called me da jie etc. But I am just a timid little girl inside, who need even more care and concern from people who I cared, who I cherish and love.

I always tell myself, is okay, everything is gonna be alright, but the thing just got stuck there and is never gone. It just remains there. Childhood friend, sisters, work friend? I dont know. All people are selfishhh...

I hope that the illness devil will just take me away, for I dowan to face this cruel world alone, arent ready to face it neither. I just dowan to grow up, I wanna be 12 yrs old every year. I dowan the feeling of hurt, neither do I want the feeling of unwanted.

Now I get the feeling of unwanted. Just cnt seems to fit into any place. I am tired of prentending. Telling everyone I am okay. Telling everyone I am strong, I am fine. I am not.

Not strong, not fine, not okay! Everynight I am crying myself to slp, I end the day feeling so unreal. Nth in this world is real, and from this very moment onwards, I just wanna get away from anyone. and everyone..

Bye cruel world, I will be in my wonderland all alone, with myself, for all I know, I might just feel happier..

2009-07-25T05:12:00.000-07:00

Every day I sit and ask myself, How did love slip away.... You're not alone, I am here with you.. Thou you are far away, I am here to stay.. (You are not alone by michael jackson)

爱也消失去情搁来斗缠，想你想你不知有啥意义。。我的感情乎你绑甲死死，我问天我问天甘会冻麦创治，搁再爱你折磨是我甲治（wo wen tian by wen li you)

你说我对你紧紧跟随, 你觉得疲惫. 独身万岁失恋无罪, 一个人崩溃不是在犯罪.. 我对於人性早有预备,还不算太黑 (shi lian wu zui by alin)

....才发现是你的心太野,你划定楚河汉界我不能轻易犯规,成了你的傀儡一年两年,才看见我有多狼狈,爱到妥协到头来还是无解,爱到妥协也无法将故事再重写, 我不想再为你掉泪.. (tuo xie by jolin)

對你這段情是愈久愈堅定 (男人情女人心 by some singer;P)

傻瓜我们都一样,被爱情伤了又伤,相信这个他不一样,却又再一次受伤 (sha gua by wen lan)

See somehow I can't forget you,After all that we've been through.. Thought I couldn't live without you, It's gonna hurt when it heals too, It'll all get better in time, Even though I really love you, I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to, It'll all get better in time.. Was it all that easy,
To just put aside your feelings.. Since there's no more you and me, It's time I let you go, So I can be free, And live my life how it should be, No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you. (better in time by Leona Lewis)

See, I don't.. know why.. I liked you so much, I gave you all of my trust.. I told you.. I loved you..
Now that's all down the drain.. You put me through pain..
Fuck what I said.. It don't mean shit now..
Fuck the presents, might as well throw 'em out..
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack..
Fuck you, you hoe.. I don't want you back..
You questioned.. Did I care? You can ask anyone.. I even said you were my great one..
Now it's.. over.. But I do admit I'm sad.. It hurts real bad.. I can't sweat that cos I loved a hoe.. (break up song by Eman)

I remembered reading from somewhere else.. 'as she turns on her mp3, she just keep repeat the song that depict you and her..' Well, thats kinda true.

I admit how much I am disgusted by her, how much I am pulled down by her. but that culdnt deny the fact that I really did love her. And that leaves me to asking, how did the love slip away? I dont know. Lost. Arent confident of getting into relationship anymore, Aint hoping for any greater one to comeby. I know I shldnt be ranting my thots out here, maybe she will pass by my blog. Maybe she will felt so .... Proud of herself that she is making me feel like this.

But just let me get this clear, is arent becos u are some good looking fellow,
is arent becos u are so good to me
AND IS CONFIRM IS NOT becos u spend money on me( which is not true in this case).
But for I am someone faithful, devoted, and love whole heartly. And I got myself all hurt. Caught in feelings like this which I shldnt be feeling. COME ON! WAKE UP chia kim geok, she is enjoying herself with tt old woman. For her money! DONT U SEE WHAT KIND OF PERSON SHE IS?
I know I know. I know everything abt her. But the bad thing abt me when come to rs, I love everything abt her. FUCK ME ALRIGHT! someone pls gimme a tight slap on my face and just wake me up.
How I wish I wasnt someone like this. How I wish I am just like them. Those flirt. How I wish I can flirt. All my wishful wish. FUCK!

對你這段情是愈久愈堅定 <- thts wht happening to all my long rs. Actually I should just get married. Cos the longer I am with someone, the more stable the rs gets for me. The longer I wanna be tgt. Once took a horoscope test. And is stated that Piseces enjoy being in long relationship. ohfuckthat!
I dont know what I am feeling now. Maybe a bit unbalanced. But one thing for sure, arent tht happy afterall.. Maybe it will affect my progress with others. Maybe they will just give up on me since I am like still so 'cnt get over' with my ex. But wells. Is up to u all to see.

Just arent someone who will forget people who I love. I can really like a thing like for years. For very very long. ): Well maybe thats not so good afterall right!
All ur words, what u told others. Are still ringing in my mind. How could I ever love a bastard like you? HOW CCOULD I? FOR I DESERVE SOMEONE ZILLION TIME BETTER THAN you?

For those who dont know what she said to others,
- She told her mum that everytime she go out with me have to spend so much money. (alright, fuck u man. No body ask u to take cab to everywher u go. Is becos u have no confidence of urself, that you dowan take the public transport! actually din realised it till keli they all told me ): )
- I have bad temper? ( I think thats what they will commend abt me once they no longer love me. Alright, get this fuck clear. If you did not provoke me, I will not let you have a taste of my nasty-ness. I arent that nice when being provoke. Tell me who can be nice when provoked? PLS REFLECT ON URSELF, HOW LOUSY YOU ARE

I must be blinded man, Fooled and lied. People has been coming to me telling me abt ur ugly past. FLIRT FLIRT FLIRT.

I HATE FLIRT. Like to the CORE. Pls stay away from me all these flirt. ENOUGH MEANS ENOUGH. And for those who go for appearance, jolly fuck off from my life too. Dont tell me nonsense like is the thot and hearts that count. -gofuckyourselfman!- Is all pack of lies.

YUCKS YUCKS YUCKS. I am certainly disgusted by people like tt. Urine and take a look at urself. For you are nt that good looking too. -pukes-

ARRRGGGGG! fuck off.

Bye. Actually I am okay. Just feeling a bit imbalance. Now feeling much better.
Music till the max, volume till the most. Maybe cos of my laobu nagging these few days, almost driving me crazy eh! ARGGG. I wanna get well soon! WIsh me best! (:

2009-07-24T23:14:00.000-07:00

醉了吧反正清醒更断肠
无理去原谅你被叛
算了吧反正有你更孤独
你不会知道遗忘有多难
给你的心不要你还痛不要你偿
陪你走过一段七情六欲全都品尝
爱你的苦不要你扛泪不要你挡
七情六欲打翻
笑着哭哭着笑去想你的模样
走了吗走到那都一样
你不肯搬出我心上
断了吗断了见面想不断
为何我总是为难我的慌

Arggg. hungry hungry! I wanna GO OUT! ;P

2009-07-24T21:00:00.000-07:00

街灯绊住我眼前
下一步
拉长的影子
嘲弄的回顾
电话亭仍留着你的话
一句话掉一滴泪
今晚的我会是如何入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹
原来
说故事也要像是真的
可是别触动那些回忆
今夜你说了最后一句
一句话掉一滴泪
看来今晚的我很难入睡
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹
原来
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

Is so amazing how much people can change over days.. At times I dont understand. was it myself that is being foolish, being held back in square 1, or are they being heartless? Is scary. And I am afraid of love now. I dare not think much abt it anymore. For all I know. I just wanna be alone.. just leave me alone.

Friends and family is good enough for me le. (=

2009-07-24T17:18:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to SAMANTHA ZHANG HUI YU!

This post is specially dedicated to her.. (:

And below is the picture for last yr bdae celebration. Things changed so much.. Now left with 2 nia. But also good larh, save a lot of money? ;P I am mean~ LALALA.
The longest sister I ever knew in the clique. Knew her for coming 6 years and counting on still. Been in the same class with her since sec 1 till sec 2. Always there for me, just like I am always here for u! Plenty of wonderful memories shared tgt. From the good one till the bad ones. But I think mostly is bad one larhhh. HAHAHA. like mahjong kakis, gangsterism( she always ask me go with her), pon higher chinese class tgt etc. HAHAHA.

And she is finally 19 liao le. Old liao, hahaha. I hope u will grow as you go along, But pls, not grow horizonally. Pls grow in the correct way. :D

Last of all, wish you a very happy birthday, may all your wish come true and you know you are being love by so many people.
I love you truck lots! :D
Sorry that am unable to turn up for ur birthday celebration cum housewarming. hahaha. But you would not want to see such a nice sister like me getting more sick right? Or u want me go spread the illness to you? Cos sister suppose to stunn things tgt. WAHAHHAHA.

P.s Muacks! I love ya! ^-^ And dont make my dream come true next yr! CONTROL A BIT! hahahaha.

2009-07-23T03:30:00.000-07:00

Think about it.. Old man going for young china women. Is common. But we all know the younger one is looking for money isnt it?

And now is a trend that young butch love to look for older woman for money sake. HAHAHA.
Disgusting. (:

Fallen sick. And Matt has been consoling me.. Thanks friend. (: u r nice! :D
Reen concern, tiff concern, bobo concern, all my friends are concern.
I am a happy woman, cos I got many friends who cared. I dont need a woman to fufill my life.

As for u faggots, listen up, U are out of my life, cos u are ugly, fat, disgusting and money minded. In another word, u are useless. And girls like me deserve so much better people. I dont need to be people sugar mummy.

Oh my tian. To imgaine Den is much more normal than her. hahaha. The thot of that makes me wanna laugh my ass off.

I dont know freaks in my life. (:

2009-07-20T20:17:00.000-07:00

Alrightttt. SHort updates before I run away from hus! Hahaha. No la.. I mean I wun be home tonight... Becos I am going to jolin belove birthday chalet.. And I am bad ): cos I forget to wish her happy birthday.. Argg. Later will have to make it up to her! Which means pictures pictures again. YEA YEA.

I miss kel, joyce and zes too! (: PHOTO PHOTO peoples.. Teehee. (:

Is really a busy work for me this week. Cos wed I will be working, then thurs working again and friday I have to meet up with my advisor. so how? Should I ask my brother go work instead? hais. Keli asking me to see how. I m like the stand-in manager. PLSPLSPLS.... tiff, esther, ling must do hao ur sales.. ! if not I sure emo de worr ! JIAYOU girls. And keli say if the sales is good, she reward me with the hearty bear! GOSH. Is a must for the sales to be good larhhh. hahaha xD

I recieved my clothes from OB le! Is so fucking nice. hahaa. And reen and von was here to pack my clothes yesterday. They were like! o.o how come buy till so many.. but okay ah. Not many many to me lor. =X Anyway, i pack cos new waredrobe coming wed. Wed night I will still have to pack nor. sian bo!

Anyway, wun be home tonight, ZES AND JOLIN here I COME :D joyce and kel also. I miss u alllll laaaaaaaaa (:

Bye people, and miss me alright! :D
Btw, i complete my fyp report le! YES AH. gonna submit for looking thru to our faci. but confirm will kena bounce back one. sian. I can only carefree for this 3 days. Yuuppps. wish me well. Anyone who miss me just sms me. I will be so free to reply. Dont forget, i got free unlimted sms. so must fully ultilize. haha! (:

2009-07-20T00:48:00.000-07:00

Just 30 min of my time to blog about the celebration yesterday! ahaha. It was crazy, fun! and everyone went on the top of their voice! hahaha . (:

My SPONGEY SOCKS (: Love it. is cute and I wore it yesterday.. LALALALA Loves!
TWIST TWIST. Of cos is me before anyone else. hahaha

The power of smiley! (: the ring will light up de. hahaha. COol wor. and is real cute! catherine said she like it too. Childish ! Just like me =p

You know, a must have for the backview of my tee. Wth. Tt samantha sickening woman la.. hahaha. =) But it goes to show I am so much taller than u! Bleachs! u this ai dong gua. (:

TADAH! all the 3 of us have this ringgg. (: I bought for wen and sam de! Hahaha. wens one is ornage, den same pink and mine YELLOW (: Smile sisters!

The grp picture. And apprantly there is oni one guy. Which is YEOW kang hao. U lucky bo?! Kena surround by so many girls.. hahaha (: love u bro!

Next up is cam whoring with wens. MAN! there are just so many I din took out. hahaa. Not to forget there are some with sinyi also! This is oni tiny part of wens one. Den still got sinyi one. OMG! is always like tt when we hang out. Pictures and more pictures. 1 camera is nv enough cos the battery die off too fast.! hahaha. (: We need at least 2 to dong worrr. hahaha. everyouting at least 200 over picture. We are all cam whores. =P
BLEACHS*
SMILEY*
Pull hair hair. Trademark* haha!
My ho hiang di! =P

Is that birthday girl. The bitch, the pa buay toh!~ Whatever you call it la, she is a cbk anyway. hahaha. BO SIM GAO AH U! =P u better go create a touching post for me hor! hahaha. (: ANd indeed u are so short as compare to me. oops =X Love u narh sister :D

We tried to take picture of kissing each other. But we just end up laughing our ass off. Maybe cos she is too ugly le, buai tahan stare at her. =X pls have zi zhi zhi ming ah! ;P

Trademark with sam!* Likewise me and sam also have kinda much picture but I oni pull out some jing dian one! (:

Oh, another trademark for our sistership=.= pls lor, u teach me bad can. To think she can tell me, "oei, faster we point middle finger tgt. so long nv pose like tt le. -.- ' I am good girl okay, is she teach me bad de. wahahaha. Not bad, the standard of pointing middle finger still ther.. er.. haha

So after being so notti, must act cute a bit lor, come one people, we are actually very sweet and cute girls! try us if u dare~ wuji qi kuai mai. Correct bo? hahaha -.-

SMILES. (: Love u sister!

Then the 3 of us. hahaha. SHe is irritating lor, can tell from my face right! cos she is lying on my lap. TSK so buai zi dong one ~ xD

Then, I try to press her breast when and caught in the action. Pris oni know just to smile oni! hahaha. Wen who is taking picture laugh till siao lor. teehee=X And sam is like scareming like she tio rape wth. hahaa

Then we took another picture, she tried to poke my breast! AHHHH. sickening woman. After the picture everyone was laughing. Shy wor me. hahaha (:
Then I sibei dulan, jiu try to RAPE HER! hahaha. Wen caught everything in her camera and picture shown. Nvm I am caught red handed. I will fu zhe de. ;P

CAt tgt with us. She is emo girl lor. Kns. Keep sing sing sing oni, macham she nv sing before. WAHAHAH. Anyway, she is one of the bdae girl also la.. (: LOVES! And huggies.

Then the usual 3 cam partner came tgt. And wht happen? Even more pictures. HAHAHA. I manage to squeeze in for this one. just in time. LMAO.

Thenanother one! *
SLANTED ONE!*
HArd feelings one! *
HAHAHA. Trademark one* cb wen u dont act innocent okay. WHt twist twist. hahaa ;P
AND U SEE THIS TMD BITCH. U know why her face so song, and i look like so... well okay fine. look? HURMP HURMP HURMP HURMPS
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Cos I gave her my virgin KISS! Steady bo this sister of urs! hahaha. And to think after that she is asking everynoe to kiss her. ccb.Lol. heng I am the first one. wahahaha ! (: And especially when cat kiss her cat is like so shy! bo bian, i experience with girls ma. =X LMAO. BUT HEY! this is confirm the very first time I am kissing my friend alright,! So u took my first kiss away ! FU ZHI SAMANTHA ZHANG HUI YU!

ANyway, I love u girls.. (: Like now and forever ! Just like lao shu ai da miiiii~ YIPPEEEE

And the song that kept dewelling in my mind..
原来最疼痛的表情竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面可以甜言蜜语
原来最孤单的是我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

2009-07-19T22:40:00.000-07:00

Today is a happy day (; Cos I am so gonna celebrate my 2 most dearest sister birthday later.. and .. (: OUR SISTER DAY ALSO. HAHAHAH :D

But you know, there are still times when u will get real tired and boring when working in JP especially during the day time, thus, all the zi lian, bo liao pictures comes into place (:

Me with my kuku spect. hahaha. :p nth better to play liao orrr. hahaha.

Another one. I think i kinda look like wonder woman! hAHAHA :D

so wu liao so wu liao so wu liao =X TuTu

Just a normal post of myself. WAHAHAH :D

Another one when sitting in the counter. I think those selling watch opposite my shop de might think that I am crazy cos my camera seems to flash non-stop. HAHAH. I scare wait they go tell my boss I eat snake =S but better like tt la, dont let me work there, den they come down themself, I guess they will be afraid of JP also lor. Ghost wandering ard oni, all bu shi ren de. =X

My new invention! HAHAHA. (: I like the eye liner reen got for me. Erm. but not so sure if it was the same one tt i bought last time.. Seems like the same neh! But anyway, I love my eye liner tt day :D

You know, is so boring to cam-whore myself only. So i bought my twin along too! haahahaha. Thats lame . xD

ONe picture is nv enough.. So I proceed to take a few more. Come come twin. SMILE WIDE :D

My twin is tired of shooting the same thing over and over again. So we ended with oni 3 picture nia. bye twin. Will miss u de LOLS!

I am very PISSED! ARGGG. Cos i am to boring le. So play with my hair. hahaha. :P

I love the tee shirt I am wearing tt day. I'm limited edition. indeed I am norrr. HAHAHA. The back lagi best ah? HAHAHAH =X Sister will know what I am toking about! HAHHA

HAHAHA. Too poor liao, so no money the back of the tee open a big hole. hahaha. Not tt big also la. Just like tt nia (: But I think my hair grow longer le! Thats a good thing :D

Teddy teddy, Lets take a foto tgt ! :D My favourite character in the shop, cos it is just so guai lan but yet cute! I am using its cosmetic pouch, wallet. hahaha And used to be using its hp pouch. Its is damn cute like dont know what la! HAHAHA. COME COME TAKE FOTO TGT!

But It seems like teddy doesnt want to take foto with me. Cos it is frowning. ); sadded.

Sayang sayang* Nvm, I still love u for what you are.! =D Lameshit. hahaha

Anyway, I saw this teddy soft toy at more than words like last year. Was tempted to buy, den wanted to go back buy, den no more le ): they oni left with the smooth texture de. DONT LIKE DONT LIKE la... Haiyo. Next time see wht nice must buy immediately! Cannot wait.. wait no more liao. hahaha. Want means want. hehehe.

alright, am waiting for wens to pass me the photo for tt night. hahaa

Tag in my facebook like real soon, off to fyp once again! Byes!

look at what I am found in my shop! WAHAHAHA. :P

Luckily blogger now has the auto save function. just now I cldnt post my post dont know why, and it was auto recovery! TECHNOLOGY IS COOL LIKE DONT KNOW WHT :D

2009-07-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Title for this post, HAPP SISTER'S DAY! (: If you girls remeber, how does sister's day come by, let me recap again. It was the date to celebrate that we have been tgt for sister-ship. Is a combination of the average of our total birthday dates and mnth. then we set on conclusion on 18th of june will be our sister day. However, that was when we have 8 sisters with us, now we are only left with 6 sisters, heard from wens that is gonna be a day backward which is 19th of july instead. Hmmm, dont know.. But since I recieve msgs from sam, sinyi and wen last night, I guess last night was our sister day?
My wish for this year sister's day
- That is sister to stay as we are till death may us apart?

Never give sisters away for the sake of ur partner, for all you know, we might be the one to be with you thru the whole journey of life.

I think this is the very first word I would say when I am going to start the story of our sister-ship. People come and go, got tgt and apart, and never be the same anymore. Fuck.

Now we are only left with 6 sisters from the above pic. 2had left, 1 of them I am still missing her ever now and then...

Our zoo trip with the 7th sister, and she left us too le. We look cute arent we, we have thousands over picture since from secondary school. If i were to post all, also dont know wether will upload finish in 1 days time notr. hhaha.

Our most innocent, all tgt sister picture. I couldnt really find the latest 8 people picture. I think is the one where we all wore all black to town? I find that the feeling wasnt very right, thus I nv bring that picture in thou it was the latest. This was the perfect picture when our friendship were so strong, were so pure, were so true..

Some of the sister like sam, ruyi, cat and minyi I knew since secondary 1. Same class or same CCA. Then get to know sinyi when playing arcade in secondary 2. Then wens joined in at secondary 3. Sister funds collect every week of the month. Money used for birthday celebration. So fun getting together.

The few most memorable memories with my dearest 8 sisters..

- Rain walking when feeling unhappy? Remb ma? We so stupid nor, to think no one will see us crying when walking in the rain. Confirm xiao meimei.

- Gangster-ism in sch. Hahha. the Tao eh, SAMANTHA zhang is confirm lian one. hahaha. Can scream from 1km away to stop the student she wanna find trouble with. Bust into the class during lesson, wanting to beat mingyong. LMAO. To think i still have to pull her. And, wens and sinyee kena bully in sec3c class. Still have to trouble me go scare people like lyeting. -.- hahaha. I can just enjoily slp thru de lorrr. hAhah.

- PONTEN, and kena called out by DM. WTF. lol

- Go into toilet rest and chit chat during silent reading. Just dowan read oni ! ahaha

- Hanging at KFC, tt playground in school uniform after school Wahahha. MR cheen still have to come ard catching us. WTH. -.-

- MAHJONG SESSION during mid year exam. Knn. Hai wo fail until so badly during that mid year exam. Heng is i still can get best improvement award at the end of yr. hahaha. Everyday

after mid yr exam just go to cat's hus play mahjong only.. Shitttt!

- DDR-ing and PARA-ing session in jp. Whole day one lor. Confirm zai. =D

This is samantha. I think we are both the most alike in the sister clique liao. Cos.. we love each other very much. hahaa. U shld understand what I am saying right biTCh@! Lol. Always there to kaobei kao bu with me one. I dowan my dream to come true hor, u next yr better control a bit more when he come out. Dont shot gun marriage i confirm sad si de. No one pei me liaoooo. hahaha ;P One of the cloest sister I ever had in sister group neh! hahaha. =X

We like to take pictures tgt! HAHAHA. WENS, SAM AND ME! BEST CAMWHORING partners. MUACKS MUACKS! :D And thats wen sister shuwen. heeeee (:

Pictures of you, pictures of me! Hahaha. Thats like so suitable for both of us. Lol. We happen to be in same class in secondary 3 when she just transfer in hkss lor. From PLMGSS. lol And.. She happen to just CLICK with us lor. Sian right! hahaha. thats when we start to not to pay attention in class, take picture and sms in class. hahaa. her camera used to be filled of my zilian picture tgt with her de picture lor! There are just so many of our pictures tgt. This are confirm like one of the few nia leh! Ben ben de sister, cum gong dua cb. hahaha. But I LOVE U KAY! dont keepp asking me to love u when I am loving u enough.... ;p

Girl, I missed you. Like from the bottom of my heart, I am wishing you well. i dont know if you will be chancing upon my blog, but u have never left my heart before. No words can ever describle how sad I am when you have decided to left us on that day. My xiong da wu zhi, zhen de hao xiang wen ni, ni hai hao ma? ta you mei you dui ni hao? ); I recalled how we become close.. How u tok to me regarding ur ex, how we used to hangout tgt... How just everything we did together, why is it that people have to change? If .. If only we were always like what we were when we are in secondary school.. It will be great.

I am very grateful for your birthday msg this year, little would I thought I will recieve the wishing message from you.

Ji xiang ruyi, Jinyumantang.... The tang and man has left. And now we are left with jin jie and yu jie.... Where were the innocence we once had? The friendship we had built? Is gone with the existance of love.

From the bottom of my heart, I am missing you still.....

YEOW KANGHAO! the guy considered to be the best sister in our grp also. Thou he is a chee hong kia, but he is also gentleman ahh. Dont always say I say u miao horrr! My once very confusing got -tgt- ex. But anyway is the past, and u are confirm playboy enough ah MR PERVERT. Lol. ;D I know you are still wishing that I wil just turn str8 again, lets see in the future I will not lorrr. Maybe who knows, I might be the first to have baby, confirm ask my baby ren u as godfather. hahaha. Nice carrot. =X

I couldnt find any picture with sinyee and me only! GOSH. But.. we had some misunderstanding when we were real young! But I guess everything is like perfectly okay now! I love u too sister! JIA YOU in everything u do! :D

Priscilla, thou we are not tt close. but I hope u will stay as a happy-go-lucky girl forever.. Dont stress too much on ur relationship. Just relac oni. AIZAI K! :D

Not only that sister's days makes me realise my sister, it also reminds me to appreciate friends who have been around for real long time ! Thats my childhood friend. (: I am sorry friend, when I gave u girls the feeling of neglecting you all.I promoise I will try to be the geok in the past, friends forever one k! Love is nv gonna bring our friendship down. And I love u girls as much as I love my sisters,! Cos u girls nv left my side ever before! always supporting me when I am down. love u all! :D

There are actually more than just htese 3 childhood friend. But is just that I only manage to take picture with these 3 friends. Remaining left out ones are baoling!, wendy!, yuh li and ting! We used to form SHIT in primaryh school remb? HAHAHA. I am the T cos i am the youngest,. Lol. VERY LAME INDEED. hahaha

Fen, u changed a lot, And I hope u are the fen who will treausre friendship now. Know whats ur prioirty and live ur life right! okay? Love u!

What to say? My twinnie! 06031990! we were born on the same day and we can really click like dont know what..It has been long since u last contacted us, and I am glad that you found out that we are the friends you can really trust and rely on after so long of not contacting us. Remeber friend is forever, and guys are like whatever lurhhh. You are great, and I love u as my friend wor (: Stay cheerful and happy always! :D

The super chio charbor. ! Knew her for coming 10 years! GOSHHHH. Is indeed long kay.. and u used to be so boyish, now everything changed when I heard you toking to ur bf just now. hahaha. but is a good thing,u will have to get marry sooner or later de right! I am glad that you din let me off when I neglected u girls. I am truly sorry, but i am back once again. And never gonna leave u girls. (: love u!

Jolene, zes! U girls has been my best jiejie all these years. Watching me fall and making me rise. (: nv give up on me,I seriously love to hangout with u all. Thks for being my friend, taking care of me ! :D LOVES LOVES. like plenty nor! hahaha

ANG LI WEI. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Gu fu my ai for u! U knn one lor, confirm wun be reading my blog also de ); But anyway, is nice to know that u are attach now. Must last long with her, and i seriously miss hanging out with u! HANGOUT SOON! Ur bdae pressie is still with me lurh. hahaha =X

My new made friend due to someone.And we can click very well at the first sight. Oh woman, I miss ur crap la... hahah. gonna see u like very soon le right? You tc of me, i confirm will tc of u also de la! And must last like really long with KEL wor, kan hao ni men ah :D

I love my work place (: the Place where I have been for past 3years. I love my boss calvin who take care of me like his own sister, keli who tc of me like her own sisters. Bobo who is like the ccrappy woman. Esther and tiff the twin star. And recently we have a new baby ah ling who is so ah lian . hahaha. But all of them are nice people except for one. And I cant be bother to take him away from the picture, but anyway, just heck care him lurh.

I miss working christmas where there are so many people working tgt, is like so fun right? :D

Thks for the advice from calvin and keli when I have broke down. Thanks for all the teaching of how to run a business. (: You guys are just like my jie and kor who watched me grow since 16 years old. (; LOVES LOVES.

And JOAN!.. sha gu, no time nv see u le wor... Got time must contact me! Dont never contact me. Sad de nehhh. And my number is 5 years nv change de ah. (; love u too!

My tiffany babe (:LOVES!

CB sam, everywhere I go also have her de leh. Like tt the love is how deep? Love as working partner, sister, classmates. GOSH. Un-indenitfy. hahaha

Happy sister day! And I love all the people mentioned! BECOS THEY ARE INDEED VERY IMPORTANT TO ME! Without them, there would not be me... (: HUGS AND KISSES.

Btw, cam whore with von and fen, fen will tag the picture at facebboook. I cnt possibly place all here. Mostly funny position posed by us. But we are LOVING IT.

Bottom line of the day, no matter what you do, happy jiu hao (:

2009-07-14T03:41:00.000-07:00

You know what ! I have been wanting to blogg so badly. And I really mean so badly! Lol. yet there are a few things on my mind now. I need to do it, have to do it.. 4 things on my mind now..

Fyp report writting. Which is due on tml. but fred not, I am only left with a bit mroe then am done with it. Maybe around half an hour more then I am done with it! GOODY !

of which after that I would have to study for my BTT. Hopefully I pass tml. I dowan to waste time wait and wait again. I can de right! JIAYOU!

then, I would have to carry on pack my storerm. Last night I pack hao my shoe, now I am going to pack my bagsss.. Last night I made 2 new friend to be exact. SUB! and wei xiong. LMAO.
wei xiong accompany me cht over the night as she is going to do something in the morning. So we cht till 630am! GOSH . hahaa. And Sub chtted with me till 3am. She's too tired, and need to KO liao. Hahaha.

then lastly, I really want to do online shopping on orange bear! they have launch such prettyyy clothes! GOSH.

So many birthday coming up! And we are having some special programme for calvin. Can samantha zhang pls contact me for details. Thks ah! hahaha. so many birthday this mnth!
And I din manage to go suntan with jolene they all. becos I have to do my work and study on my UT. hope tt I wil be able to pass this UT. yesterday contact center was tough alright! i dont know how to answwer most of the question. NB.

This is my new hair! I mean. Oni the fringe lurhhh. I nth better to do so just go cut since I shldnt be cutting my whole hair. I only she de cut my fringe. I believe my fringe will grow back first right! ahahhaaha. Pls my fringe, dont let me down. But anyway, I am loving my short fringe.! Thot of cutting st8, but still din find the courage At least better than nth, no short hair, no bang, jiu short fringe lor. WAHAHAHA.

Stare what stare? Hahaha. I nth to do during work, so diao my bag. ahhaha =X

Goodbye to my long fringe. Goodbye yo you..

DONT I LOOK CUTE HERE! hahahaa =X

LAST OF ALL! MY TRADEMARK!

I love my friends. I miss you all!MEET up soon! LIke real soon (:

2009-07-12T23:23:00.000-07:00

you know, I felt so much to talk to you.. I am still missing you. I still tears when i thought of our past.. But is already past.. I am trying to move on.. which you might have already done so.

I dont know. I am trying still. need more time, or shld I say like many more time.. Hais..

2009-07-11T18:49:00.000-07:00

I am very pissed! I am unhappy...
KNNNNN! early in the morning nag nag nag. Fucker, spoilt my mood for the whole day.
NBCB! Regard tot he stupid store rm.

I need to find a space for my shoes and bags! I got over 80 pairs of shoes and 50 bags!

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

2009-07-11T09:57:00.001-07:00

I wanna see vaness!
I need to do FYP
I need to lose weight!
I need to work work and more work

and indeed, I am busy and wonder woman!

2009-07-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

1. The person who asked me to do.
- Jolyn

2. Your relationship with him/her.
- Friend (:

3. Your first impression on him/her.
- Erm, fierce?

4. Your most memorable moment with him/her.
- Hahaha. When she doing her fortune cat.

5. The most memorable thing you said to him/her.
- I forget liao =X

6. If him/her becomes your lover?
- No way?

7. If him/her becomes your lover, what would you like him/her to improve on?
- Wun even get the chance to be lover can?

8. If him/her becomes your enemy, what will you do?
- Sad. ):

9. If him/her becomes your enemy, what will be the reason?
- DUNCAN? Hahaha. Jk. I dont think she will ever be my enemy anymore (:

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is?
- erm.

11. Your overall impression on him/her.
-hard outside, soft inside.

12. The characteristic you love most about yourself.
- Realistic

13. The characteristic you hate most about yourself.
- Emotional

14. The most ideal person you want to be is?
- Pretty and slim.

15. For people that care and like you, say something to them.
- You guys are being loved by me too. Thanks!

16. Pass this quiz to 10 people who you want to know how they feel about you.
1) SAMANTHA ZHANG HUI YU
2) TAN YIN WEN
3) SANDY PEK SINYI
4) Sandra ( I know you are peeping at my blog)
5) Kanghao
6) Yvonne *twin twin*
7) Bao ling
8) zave?
9) Duncan
10) Lynn

17. Who is 6 having a relationship with?
- Hahaha. SIngle and avlaible?

18. Is 9 a male or female?
- 50-50

19. If 7 and 10 were together, would it be a good thing?
-coNFIRM WUN LEh

20. What is 2 studying at the moment?
- RP.

21. When was the last time you had a chat with 3?
- forget liao.

22. What kind of music does 8 like not sure?
-Not sure anymore

23. Does 1 have any siblings?
- YEA zhang ming!

24. Will you woo 3?
-No!

25. How about 7?
- no!

26. Is 4 single?
- No! hahaha

27. What's the surname of 5?
- Yeow

28. What's the hobby of 5?
- I guess is club and bio char bor., hahaa

29. Do 5 and 9 get along well?
- they dunnoe each other~!

30. Where is 2 studying at?
- RP nor.

31. Say something casual about your eyes
- nice and big. =.=

32. Have you tried developing feelings for 5?
- Secret*

33. What colour does 4 like?
- BLACK I THINK.

34. Are 5 and 1 good friends?
- PTS lehhh

35. Does 7 like 2?
-shld be okay

36. How did you get to know 2?
- we were in the same class in secondary sch!

37. Does 1 have any pets?
- zhang ming counted?hahaha

38. Is 7 the sexiest person in the world?
-YES!

39. How is 4 related to you?
- my best school mate!

40. Describe 4.
- style and classy!

2009-07-01T22:55:00.000-07:00

I knw you wun care any more.. There is no point in writting out this post.. But I write is not for anyone to see, or hoping whatever responses I can get. All I merely want is a place to rant out my thots. so here it goes.

If loving you is a crime,
then I am gulity.

Deep at night, when everyone aslp, have you ever felt a tiny little heart is still missing you from afar? Those words that I said, those words that you mentioned to people around you, are ringing in my mind still.

Yes, I hate you, for saying me till like that.. For able to get over me and like nothing has happen before. I hate you for what you say, what you did.

But I am angry, hated is all because I cared too much. I am sorry, But I still cnt deny that I love you still.

ALone in the night, staring at the tall ciling, and my mind just filled of you, my heart flew to whereever you were. Wondering, what were you doing? How was your day today? And... Do u still thot of me or miss me? Cos I miss u badly.. So badly till I feel so much like slapping myself awake, telling myself, come on! SHe is no longer urs, and never will be urs anymore..

I know, I know. But I just cnt help thinking like that.

Some people say is the process of breaking up,
some people say time will heal everything,
some people say she isnt worth your effort.

All these I knew. But what I know, to the very bottom line of all our unhappiness, break up, money issues, quarrel, ur words, my words..

Is that..

I still love you alot from the bottom of my heart

Maybe you wun b reading this any more, wun be bother anymore.. But still, I am concern about you.. MAybe you are in the hospital now, looking at other nurses, wanting to know them.

But no matter what you are, I still love you.

Love is silly, love is blind, Love is hopeless....

除了想你除了爱你~
我什么什么都愿意
翻开日记整理心情
我真的真的想放弃
你始终没有爱过
你在敷衍我
一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心无力继续
这感情不值得我犹豫
不值得我考虑
不值得我爱过
你这种回忆不值得我提起
不值得想起
不值得哭泣
这段感情早就应该放弃
早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
这样的你不值得我恨你
不值得我为你而坏了心情
我决定不为你而毁了心放弃爱你

Is not worth it..................

2009-06-30T12:31:00.000-07:00

I have been a fool for 1 yr 5 mnth.

I am just so disappointed in you.

I guess love is just like that. Is always sweet at first, and it soon become nothing.. When you are nothing, nothing ever matters anymore..

I wun pester you anymore,

I wun want any more things to do with you anymore

Just me alone.

2009-06-29T20:52:00.000-07:00

You know, I should be blogging about this..
we have broke up.
But I know, she is so happy now, as happy as a bird.

Last night the only msg from her was to return her her money. Disgusting right? Yea, I think so too. =/

I dont know about this, I arent feeling good, still need time to heal etc. I am unlike her, so fast can move on to another pharse of life. I guess people change jiu shi change liao

She still can be telling her friend, -> Our relationship since mnth backs already become like that.

The feeling towards me is already diffferent, asking me to go accept her for who she is now.

And, for all these mnth, that particular friend has been treating her the best.

Oh yea, what is her defination of treating her the best? Shower her with money?

Yes, and now I knew who she is. I am terribly sad. Feeling so cheated. But I told myself.

Pls for goodness sake, go ask around, which of ur ex gf will be willingly to clean dog shit for u? To always visit u when in hospital? To be willingly to make so much sacracfice for u? which girl will be willingly to clean ur back for you? I swear to the god, never once before did I ever xian qi ni. ALl while long, I love you for what you are.. Your temper, your mouth, your illness, ur dog, ur habit. Try doing the same to another woman, and see how long they can stand you? 1 mnth? 2mnth?
All ur ex are either after ur money or no serious about , and i am the dumb-ness woman in the whole wide world to love u so dearly, with my one and only heart.

Love is indeed blind, I am blinded by love that I see you so perfectly. But ur msn cht shook me up.
Is not that I am making noise, but the insercurity you have given to me since 1 mnth back, I already tell you about that. But you just dont care. well done. Seems like you dont ever wanna save this rs anymore... Then so be it..

Is over between us, nv will I wanna seee you.

How flirt can you be? The moment we broke up and you can online fridae? JUst to seek for other girls? Disgusting

You knew what? Is too bad that you dont have aappearance like Den, If not you will justbe a big fat flirt just like her. Okay? That bloody gross.

I know who u are now. Money is all that you ever wanted. But sorry, i dont have the money. thats why u are out of my life.

2009-06-18T20:44:00.000-07:00

I am awfully sad.
But I told myself not to cry.. Not to cry.. Hush..
you know, when people change, then they will say.. Pls accept me for who I am.
Beginning to hangout more with friends, talking nicely to friend than to me. Neglecting of who I am.
For fuck sake I am repeating this again. I am not being sensitive or emo here. Cos i the fact And to friend who are concern about me, note this most update issue.

FOR HELL SAKE SHE IS JUST LIKE DEN.

Okay? I am not trying to compare, but I think now.. both of them is the same? The reason will staying with me is not that they love me, but cos of some reason. SOmeone to accompany them when they are alone. And when they dont need me, they would just kick me far aside. Selfish fuck right?

but hey, I have learnt to be smarter. I shall not let this issue affect me too much. Just let it go easy. So if there is any better catch coming out, I will just go. okay?

I am kinda single and avaliable.

2009-06-09T08:55:00.000-07:00

Was looking at my handphone for the dont know how many times.. Yet disppointment each time when I looked t it..

Phone call ring and I am very happy.. I thot she called me. But I was wrong. Everyone in the whole world had called me except her...

Disappointment again and again.

Her first msg today.

R u cuming bk my hus to9

Just like tt. exact word of what she type. Who do she treat me as? Maid? Or? Slave? I dont know.

Been waiting and waiting for her call or msgs. none. till in the afternoon. was so happy to recieve her phone cal. In the end was, the meal is changed from sunday to sat. Okay? Inform whoever is relevant. Kup*

Till now.. 1158PM am still waiting for her msg or call. None.

Apprantly, she no longer need me in her life. Becos she has got her friends.. No longer me. When she neeed my help then she would call me for help, msg me to help her pay bill.

I am very sad. I cried very badly beside her that night.. But concern from her stopped after 5 min cos I wasnt replying. And she felt aslp.

Does she still love me? I dont think so. Our love is gone, promise are broken. And I am all alone.

She is tired, she told me. So tired recently that she does not have time to entertain me. I am crying almost everynight, becos.. I arent getting any more attention from her like before.

I think we should just end it here, and go no longer furher. Becos it is hurting me..

I had fallen for u, but u have hurt me.

JUST TELL ME, u no longer love me like before. stop the lie, and stop using me.. I had enough.

2009-06-06T05:03:00.000-07:00

I should have just faster blog out this post.. Becos I can no longer hold it in my heart..

I guess my heart is bleeding, all torn. And I dont know how to pick up the shattered pieces as there are just too much, too many.

Ever thought of why am I in this family, out of all? Plenty of Why stuck in my mind.. Seeking for an answer still. But the thought of suicide came to my mind again. As strong as what it was 2 years back.. Why am I thinking of these? I am just giving up on my life. Whats the point of forever not enough? Whats the point of so many thing? And there is only 1 reason stopping me from suicide. Not my family, not my gf, not my friend nor sister. I couldnt care much now. But is me myself that I stop myself from committing suicide. Becos I dont want end up taking my own life which is a crime.

So now I pray hard. May I die in an accident, or from some unusual diseases. Swine might be?

I have no intention of living anymore. I dont know how to talk to others about this. Pls dont ask me about this issue my sister, or anyone who claim that they are concern. If one day I am dead just like this, pls be happy for me. Becos this is my wish from 6th june onward.

No one bothers, no one care. I seriously need a hug just to buck me up. I am sick of acting strong, being strong. I am just a normal girl who need love like anyone else. Get the fact clear.

Since no one body to love or care, just let it me. I am used to it. For all the 19 years in my life, nv did I ever felt love, never did I know what is the feeling of being in love okay? I am just a pathetic fat pig, who yearns for love more than anyone else.

How I wish I can be like those hot sexy whtever shit girl. Becos they can just get any body to love them.

I no longer need true, forever love. I just need someone to love me.

Whoever!

I am just going to be missing just like that. Dont bother to find me. I will come out when I feel like to, to face this cruel world.

2009-06-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

if you said that you love me, thats lie.
Okay, and now I am saying, becos I am feeling hopeless now. The feeling of giving up, no maybe I should say I am giving up on this relationship.

At times I wonder, why on earth from so many people I have choose to be with me. All I can conclude now is that I have been cheated isnt it? I think so too.

What hurts the most was.. to be with the person together, yet.... THAT PERSON seems to feel tt I am such unpresentable that we dont even hold hands in public, sit far from each other when in public. I am giving up on this relationship. Dont bother to hold me back, cos u dont deserve alright! I had enough for the past 1 year. Really enough

Your selfishness. What do i mean by that? When you need me, then u will call me and pester me, or even scold me when u cnt find me. becos u are so boring, and u merely just want someone to pei u. And when u are so busy with ur friend and everything,. u simply forget me. So is this what u try to claim tt u love me? B ullshit alright.

I am near to flawless, I am a perfect catch. I am a good gf. And u fucking just dont deserve me alright! KNNB CCB!

I am kind hearted, considerate, faithful, soft hearted. I am all that a man can ask for, I can simply just married off and need not stuck with nonsense like u. I am near to flawless except that I am fat. Just fat. Not feeling inferior when I am single, but when I am attach, I feel that my partener will not dare to 'show' me out to their friends. Maybe I arent pretty enough,

BUt I know people will tell me tt such partner just dont deserve u.

I kept quiet once, kept quiet twice. I no longer can take it.

SO FRIEND, just see how WONDERFUL gf i have. Sucks.

IF U DONT LOVE ME, JUST LET ME GO.

I am hurt, I am speechless. I just wanna hide.. Dont ever wanna come out and see u anymore. Sad enough. Just let me go.

I am hurt cos I love u too much, is uncontrollable, yet u arent appreciting my love, den just let me go.

2009-05-26T07:02:00.000-07:00

Woosh. I see dusk on my blog.. *Wipes Wipes*

Suddenly, there is a random thinking in my minddddd... Double english name is like so nice right? Hahahah . ;p

So maybe I can call myself,
Mary ferylin

But Ihate Mary.. Ferylin sound nice! WAHAHA. So my I guess one of my name will be ferylin.. But is kind of hard to type leh.. I keep typing wrong. But is special right? Just a very random pop up name.. I guess english name you just have to try to pick those that is hard to pronnounce then it will make u a classy person? LMAO.

So whats nice?

Kelee? Lol. Random one again. So If I put both tgt

Kelee ferylin, (Karl-ee feri-lin) how about that ?

J starting names sounds very cool also right? Try to combine J with Z. Hmmmm. Jo is so common. Ji also very common. JA sounds not nice.. Je can be better. hmmm So J what!?

jileo <- Leo? nono. I am pisces. Jiles <- Damn common. Guess Jileo soung better. But sound like butch name lehh. Hmmm. If am butch call that one stylo lurhh. Joriyane No bad ahhhh. Hahaha

Say JO is common le right? But nvm la. Combine the few last word behind sound interesting lehh.( Jo- ri - yane )

Zi, zen, zo, za, ziler? zenice ? Not nice. zenicia? Oh man. Z is so hard to form. ARWWWW.

zxennice <- Hahahha.

Zxennice joriyane. (Zxen-nise Jo-ri-yane) Or
Kelee ferylin. (Karl-ee Feri-lyn)

Wahaha. special right?
But confirm hard time pronnouncing. hahaha.

2009-05-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

Contented with my life now.. Guess there is nothing much to ask for anymore isnt it? =)

School has been doing real well. Classmates are great. And I a, accepted in every class. =) Love them. Now enjoying going to school more, and I am trying not to miss any lessons from now on alright? Unless like for something really like important. Anyway, UT coming up the week after next. Is fast isnt it? Time pass so fast, and I guess soon I will be graduating from Rp le. What to do?

Haven really have a full time job before, I bet it is gonna be very tiring. I hope one day I can dont need work and have dear dear yang wo. ahahha. ;)

Tml going over to her hus. Happy happy lurh. But going there after work only.SIan, tml working in bugis then wed working in JP. So strange right? ANyway.. I also heck care. Got work jiu hao lurh..

Then FYP meeting again on thurs =( Haven done a single bit of reading for my fyp. Cos geok is not a so hardworking person. NoNo. maybe I would really have to find time to do my reading.. Like on thurs itself? Afraid will be a bit too late as now most of the day I am so hardworking in class le. Wahahha/

Anyway, Addicted to a song now. Is called fuck you right back. COol eh.. ;)
And is my blog song now also. Yippee. ;D

Love my life now. =D Just hopes tt it remain like that forever. !

2009-05-07T09:38:00.000-07:00

It has been so long since I last update right.. Shall do a little update for now.. =)

School was fine, classmates are good. However, I have not even attend a single lesson for my friday module yet. Lol. Hopefully, No, I must make it a point to go to the lesson on monday. Mustnt miss out any more lesson, because I am in year 3 already, should be more focus in my studies. Met up for fyp this afternoon, and I can conclude we might just be the most slack team! Haha. Because.. we met for only 1 hour and off we go. Reason being we were all very tired from the long day of lesson in school. Today my module was PR, yao wo de ming ah, is really very context heavy and dry lesson. Bascially all the theroies and what i called the common sense. Bored me to death. Did I mentioned, My fyp propsal was accepted already. And now we are steping on for the lit review. JIA YOU! Faster chop chop finish it.

Actually I felt that fyp was a lot more easier than PP. Maybe the main reason as for fyp we actually get to work in team of 4, work load are being dvided among us. As well as when we are face with rejection of the project work and required rework, we can always share the burden., Just like our propsal was rejected at first, and allynn get it all done up and resubmitted to Aaron. Was getting on so far so good, thou we wasnt the initial team up, but I guess our team dynamic was doing like so good so far. =) Am glad about it..

Then, work was okay for me. Sales is picking up.. Used to working in jurong point, that somehow I grow to love it. Now I finally understood why bobo would not want to leave jp, because it is already like a home to us. Thumb up for jp =) Hugs. More work coming up in june because tiff is unable to work as full timer, and currently they have 3 places, so I would be able to work more during holiday. Is tiring, But i hope I can get use to it. Because I dont want to slack. Once one starts to slack, thats it.

Family side, I guess my brother is just getting out of hand. I have nth to comment about, and I dont know what to do also. I hope he will learn how to think like soon, and not like now, slacking around still. Is like a .... Burden?I dont know.

Ever since school reopens, Is harder for me to meet baby. But she is always on my mind can? I know I am such a meanie, because is either I am found studying, working or resting at home. I dont have the 'spare' enregy for me. But pls endure baby. This is gonna be over like real soon. We will be like spending my holidays together right? Loves. And you are always on my mind. Hugggies.

It has been kinda long since we last meet up for sister. And I guess the next meeting up will be for pris birthday right? I so miss u girls. Hope to see u all soon. Like we are all in yr 3 now, busying with attachment, projects and stuffs. Hope that we will have time to slack ard tgt still..

Oh man, we are growing up way too fast. Can the time stop for goodness sake? I dont want to start working so soon.. I wanna stay at a student like for ever? LOL.

Everything is gonna on a average pace, Nth much excite me. Not feeling happy, feeling a sad thou. And I dont know why. Anyway.. Looking forward to sat of meeting my baby. Love u! ;D

ANyway, we are gonna start saving for our taiwan trip. And maybe, when I go thailand can bring some items back for sale for our blogshop. Still trying to source for items to put on our blogshop.
JIA YOU!

2009-04-28T07:03:00.000-07:00

Gf is pretty upset now.. Yet I dont know how can I make her feel better.. =( I am such a failure gf right? Hais.

2009-04-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

The most hurtful sentence of the day..

No body understands how I feel, all they care about is themself...

Sisters, tell me what is sistership? To be there when you cant find any other friends or your partner then you will think of your sister?

We are a bunch of so happy teenagers when we were in school, but as we starts to grow up, our happiness scene changed, dramatically.

Why bother to care so much when it will only look bad on us? That we are trying to separate the poor couple who are so much in love. -ohshutthefuckup-

When we are young, we learned that friends forever.
When we became teens, we learned that I wanna marry you.
When we are young adult, we learned that you are the only man I wanna stick to forever.

What about the lesson learned when we are young? About friends? No, wait, when we are adult.. friends are just there to make use of. Friends get together becos all of their man are so busying then they just dont have time for their wives so those wives of others get tgt and become sister.

At the end of everything, when their hubbys are free again, they will just bid goodbye to each other and return back to their hubby side. -used-

Think;

Would we even voice out with we dont care?
save you from his doing ?
Tell u to get away from him?

We were the best sister in the world, if he is the perfect man for you, we would want you to marry him, and not keeping you away from him. How much harm do you wanna bring upon yourself? Angry ? Disappointed with sister? And yes, geok is upset now, pretty upset.

To see how sister changed. And I knew. no sister is forever. People changed. Why bother to pin so much hope? One day you girls will leave me, one by one, slowly by slowly.

I have no friends.

2009-04-12T03:17:00.000-07:00

I feel so much like blogging like since yesterday! But I am too tired to do so. I fall asleep while listening to the mickey MP3. Hahaha.

And I am listening to it once again still . Lol.

Btw, great news! That is that the domo tee I have done a preorder on has arrive. But not all yett. Only those bigger size arrive. I think bigger size is selling better for my site lor. Hahha. But is okay, it would spell that I will be able to sell and make some profit from it. Oh man, i seriously so wnat the gucci lanyard can? Still trying to find ways to get it asap. Haiyoo. Lol. I wanna clear my debt first. Maybe shall just wait. Someone get it for me? Hahah. Jk!

And I have one more interested buyer in my vs wristlet which means I will be able to clear one more. I dowan left too much stks leh. Am still trying to clear the remaining 3 pcs. Haha. ANyone interested? Domo tee also leh! hahah.

Oh yar, and I promise baby that I will be getting the same phone with her. Arg so manythings to do so little money. haha.

Clear my debt, buy a phone then a gucci lanyard. hahaha. ;p

Anyway, working with bobo yesterday. Talked alot and sales damn sucks. but not stress at all la,. becos 2 person ma.. hahaha. However will be working from monday to thurs starting from tml. So stress and scare. hopefully I will be bless with good sales wor. =)

Saw sandy and we catch up a bit. Lol. She is so li haiiiii =D Cos she is like so update abt what is happening to us wor. hahaha. =D Catch up again sister.

Shld I keep one domo tee for myself? Hahaha. =.=

School starting soon and I am like so excited. becos. I wanna carry my new backpack to sch. LMAO. Very cool one okay. with some thing different on it. hahaha. =p

2009-04-10T12:47:00.001-07:00

Guess what, I am so in the mood to blog at this hour. Is pretty strange cos I shld be slping by now, but I just couldnt get to slp, Perhaps after I blog I will be able to sleep well..

I realised that I havent been blogging properly that No one is actually reading my blog, Pretty upset thou.. hahah. But maybe I just arent really born a writer la. Hahaha. I also dont like take so much picture and stuffs.

But is good in a way because I can always have my piece of word said in my blog, and I need not bother about what other people say isnt it?

I think I sucks at blog lurh, becos I have spend like 2 hour figuring about the HTML code. How stupid can I be? I am completely noob when it comes to computer, especially codes. Thou HTML is the easiest to master, but I am still experiencing diffculties with it. *shameful*

Tomorrow working with Bobo at jurong point. Is kind of boring right, every time read my post is all about working. Lol. I try not to make it too wordy neither. Due to lazy-ness, I always do not have pictures up on my blog, boring my reader to death. Hahha.

This is what I do when I am bored at my work. Especially in jp where ther isnt any people walking let alone shopping over ther. DUH.

Hahaha, My z cup breast! LOL. Is actually a bed room slipper. This series is one of the favourite series of my boss, can tell, he is pervert. Hahah. And we've got tissue box as well as plush toy for this breast. LOL! The plush toy is really big can. Dot. Sell also ps la~ Hahaha.

2009-04-10T10:18:00.000-07:00

I want this month and next month to pass by soon.
Faster clear finish the bills and debt.

Arg, why do gucci lanyard restock this mnth, My poorest mnth and I cnt get it.

ROARS*!

2009-03-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

Do you know who is she? Hahaha. I am sure all of you do ^-^ Proud to say, I had a sudden crush on her now! LOL. =D And baby got me a precious thot cinderella version crystal balll. Hahaha Happy me! And I am still aiming the original cinderella figuring (:

For my birthday, I think I got kinda lot kimmidolls all thanks to my friends! Hahah! Additional 3 more kimmidoll maxi added to my collection and 1 kimmidoll decorative doll. =) thks to sam, work friends and jack (:

Kimmidoll is having sales now. Lol. Buy 1 and the 2nd pc 50%. HURRAY! And, 10 more % discount for memeber. Forget to mention, jack signed the membership card, and she left it with me. So now I have to membership to use liao. hahaha. ;D

2009-03-15T10:23:00.000-07:00

Couldnt get to sleep yet, baby is enjoying her macdonald and I am like starving here now. Lol.
Today met up with samantha, catherine and cindy =) Happy day, however, some reflection to make...

Cat bought a gucci wallet, And some tops from Dorothy perkin. And they manage to join them as member, so well well, they spent 160 in that single shop with just 3 tops and 1 bottom. And together, she spent a total of 396+160= 556! Maybe deduct the amount her sister spent which was 63 for jeans and 29 for top, she spent a total of 464? Ard there. And here the reflection starts...

How much is ever enough? Girls will never have enough of shoes, bags, clothes isnt it? Thats the nature of girls, and we always love shopping. There is no wrong in it, we are born like that. HOWEVER.

Now it comes to how u manage your spending. Work, save hard and spend hard? Work for 364days and use that 1 day to spend all of your money on these branded stuffs? Or, try asking other people to get for you? Use your body to xchange for branded stuffs? Or.. Ask money from your parents ? Or... Use all the money u have and spend on it and end up borrowing money from others? And the last cat which is the best would be to pamper and reward yourself with one, and making sure that you still have enough for the days..

Talked about methods of getting your branded, and now comes to the purpose of owning it? Because your friends has it? You dont want lose face? Hao lian? Or, just becos you wanna be branded person? LMAO.

People who goes for branding has a subconcious mind of their statues. They would want people to look up 'upon' them. Some just mererly follow their friends becos they wanna blend in the grp. ahhaha. There are down and up parts abt wanting people to look upon them, for those who are inferiors and always being look down, this might be a way of them boasting their self confidence a bit, however, for those who wanted to flaunt, I think they will just end up getting more and more because each brand can launch much faster new series than how fast one money is rolling in. Unless u are like making 5k and above each mnth which i dont think most of the common students will be earning so much. Mostly with just a 5 hundred, just enough for food, transport and shopping at bugis street, unless you really save hard for one. ;p

When I am getting something as costly as these branded items, I will thot of the usability, Amount, and suitabilty. Still student ma, of cos bigger bag better, can throw all things in. Haha. And suit my size too =p Focus and save bit by bit, i dowan end up eating grass after getting what I want. And is not very nice to ask other buy to, so expensive. Bring the bag will also ps ah? hahhaa.

But anyway, as student shld spend like a student la... I think price ranges of topshop Etc is like 'branded' to student liao. Becos a piece cost like almost one day of most student part time pay. topshop is good enough ah, anything beyond should only falls in wish list. *I wish only* hahaa. Fat dream. =p

contented enough to own a gucci wallet, and I seriously think my gucci wallet is the nicest, Gosh, so bhb. Hahaha. The material can use longer ma, cos itself already look worn out worn out. Man, it seriously suit me ;D

Went to taka with catherine walk ard... She bring me there to temp me one. LOL! Eh. but I am practical one, only look @ nice, worth it, practical and suitable one. hhaha. Walked around, still, only the burberry bag which I have been considering since like jan falls into the target list. Haha. Can aim for it ah? Can use as school bag also. =p Big bigg just like me. Haha. Is the top picture which I post up de. Nice like dont know what la~ I Like i like. ahahha. I think airport is selling 980.. But the shop only sell 925. Strange. Maybe DFS will be even cheaper, nvm slowly save then go see see.. Haha.

Nth else more, the bag is costly enough, i shldnt be getting anymore shoes and bags. Hahah. Save for the bag right? And savings. hehehehe. I am a good girl. =.=

Changed my blogskin. I am like so loving gucci! hahaha Seriously I think gucci is better than LV. =p The new doggie series is nice. But the charm is like 2 hundred plus lor . siao. -.- I rather hang ugly doll if thats the case. Hahah. But the bag suits samantha better, becos she likes nvfull and dog. Combination of both. sam sam... What are u waiting for? HAHAHA.

3 of us trying to take foto with her wallet. I am trying to give the 'so what' face. HAHAH

The stingy girl with her gucci wallet. Haha

Is a great day girl out. Happy to spend time with them ;D Love you girls. And oh ya, wonderful branch plus dinner at old airport.. The chicken chopppp is Extremely nice ;D And fried bananas tooooooo. =p Thks to sherman (bobo bf) for driving us there!

Just crapping. Nth to blog, so blog abt all these rubbish. And I think I am kinda tired now. teehee =X hitting the sacks and work tomorrow. Nites world. ;D

2009-03-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

This is a little interesting test. The answers you generate seem quite accurate, but rather, it's an interesting mix of cold readings and random possible facts. Do give it a shot and see how it goes.

1. Open this website : http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

2. Take the Personality Quiz

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Kinda true ahhh.. ahahha

2009-03-07T07:37:00.000-08:00

Some very very late foto, but I find it nice also post it up! hahaha. Kinder surprise, see , not much people have hor. And i got 2. One is from baby during xmas and another from calvin! hahah. He trying to pian me he ship from oversea one. Too bad I knew coca tree came out with this range during the season time.=) And so qiao baby got one for me too! Love both of them. And some other gifts I got for xmas. Kinda lot ah ;D

then, thats my Bday pressie! WOOSH! Plenty of kimmidoll just like I wanted. Love it! HUGS! dont under estimate them wor, like that also need 3 hundred to 4 hundred like that. Plus see the boxes of kimmidolls Keychain I have? That box cos 150 sia! And is genrously given by my beloved baby! together with minnie mouse. Arwww. Love her =D

And I got a longchamp handbag and carlo rino clutch from sisters too. Love it too. Is really nice of u girls..

And I got a very nice and special cake which I had not get the picture yet, And is very tasty too! Special thanks to sam and wens! Love u ! =)

Overall, I had a wonderful birhday! :D

Later wishing from Jolyn, Cherly, puiling, sherman, cat, pris, Geraldine(confirm sister this one) and a few more which I couldnt remember. Was really surprise because I am indeed a bad friend as.... I nv wish anyone of them happy bday before! Even my sister. uNless they say send tgt. but am glad still got recieve wishes if nto sure sad si... hahah I will be a better friend this year by trying to remb my friend's birthday. Hahha. :D

Love m birthday and I am offically 19. =) Friends, I love u all too!

And my dearest baby, thks and I know u love me just like how much I love u.. Muacks!

2009-03-05T09:16:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to myself! 19th liao.... =)

Thks to all that wish me happy birthday thru msn, facebook, smses face to face. Appreciate it.

I think the very first wishing was done by greg. Which was the day before yesterday thru faceboook. Then follow by terry who wish me happy birthday on msn..

Then on tonight it self, i Had a couple.. Plenty of different thots on those who send me msgs.. =)
First to send me was jolene and Liwei. Becos I went out with them today? Dinner at liwei working place. Is nice, shall bringbaby and sister over when possible =) Then followed by dion bob aka best online buddy. Glad that she still remb my bday thou long time bo contact liao. =) Then waited and waited.. Samantha finally msged. *sob, i nearly thot i No sisters one =X* Bitched ard and comes the mighty wen's msg also... She sent me 2 telling me abt her noble she is to xi shen her LZX just for me. Okay la, i admit she is noble indeed. *touched*

Followed by ruyi. Kinda happy that she do remb me.. My birthday. U knew, how touching it would be to recieve bd msgs from people who u knew will send u? Din really expext her to send me the msg.. But was a really happy. Girl, i hope things are getting on great for u, and maybe one day we can get backk..

Grealdine used to be the one who surprise me every year! For the whole 4 years of knowing her, till last year. =( And I forget her truly. I am such a bad ass. =( Cos her falls in dec, which is a busy period for retail line, yea, *smack myself* thats not a good reason for forgetting. Hmmm...

But still I guess wun get her wishing this year cos she change her fone number. =) Still, i remb u this long last sister forever in my heart =D

Then this person makes me the happiest girl in the world! Is my didi =) Oh gosh, how sweet can he be? Now I am feeling bad, I must get him a nice bag for his birthday. Becos he very kelian, No nice nice bag wear to work. Hmmm. =) He wish me happy 19 birthday and .. He put cry cry face. I think ard 6 cry cry face. Then I ask him why put cry face then he say cos i old le 19 le, so he cry for me. lol. Damn funny. I love him man =)

Then lastly is sin yee liao. =) Glad that she remb my birthday. hee. Very happy abt it too. She is another one who never fail to send me msgs every year de wor.

Thks to all. I love u guys! ;D